1-Up Girl
by Dr.Indigo
Summary: Sequel to Flowers and Brimstone. While entertaining her visiting 'nieces', famed intergalactic space hero Anastasia 'Annie' Greason regales them with the story of her first solo adventure and how she first fell in love with the man of her dreams. I hope you like videogames.
1. Prologue

Hello everybody, and welcome to Part 4 of my exciting Star vs the Forces of Evil fanfiction series. Sorry for the slight delay. I mean to have this up yesterday, but work's been a killer lately. Anyway, before we get started, Star vs the Forces of Evil is owned by Disney and Stands are the creation of the brilliant and talented Hirohiko Araki. And now that the formalities are out of the way. Let's get things started. 3… 2… 1… Enjoy.

1-Up Girl: Prologue.

( _Alcari Nebula, Polaris Galaxy: July 8, 2046_ )

The Silver-7.

Legendary Headquarters of the Valkyries.

Home of the Universe's Mightiest Heroes.

Chariot of the Defenders of all Reality.

Etcetera.

Etcetera.

You get the idea.

A group of really famous space heroes live here.

Anyway, deep within this slick and streamlined structure, in its innermost inner sanctum, two princesses sat in total darkness; looking extremely confused and irritated.

After spending over two weeks meditating and pondering the mysteries of the cosmos, the girls, Artemis in particular, were excited to learn that the next stop on their 'vacation tour' would be the legendary ship of the Valkyries; the Defenders of the Universe.

And how could they not be?

After all, even in the sheltered existence their mother had forced them into, Artemis and Marisol had grown up listening to tales of the Valkyries' heroic exploits.

How they saved the planet Tralfamadore from a swam of trans-dimensional plasma eels.

How the prevented the second coming of Necrofax the Mind Rapist.

How they pushed back Lord Hater and the Unholy Horde of the Seventh Hell.

 _Sigh_

Artemis got chills just thinking about it.

But alas, so far reality wasn't quite living up to the hype.

After being dropped off by Lady Hekapoo, the girls were led down a long hallway by a pair of floating, supposedly artificially intelligent orbs and herded into a pitch black room where they were immediately seated in a pair of metal folding chairs and told to wait.

That was about… forty-five minutes ago, and they were still waiting.

" _Ugh_!" Artemis groaned as she slumped into her chair. "This sucks!"

"You really shouldn't swear so much, you know." Marisol said disapprovingly. "It's not very ladylike."

"First of all, 'sucks' isn't a swear word. And second, even if it was, it would be totally justified in this situation. I mean, here we are, onboard _the_ Silver-7; headquarters of the universe's mightiest heroes. And instead of showing us around or telling us awesome stories, they just tucked us away in some… broom closest or whatever without so much as a greeting. It's so unfair!"

"I'm sure they have a good reason." Her sister said rationally. "Perhaps they're busy battling an interstellar warlord, or helping some poor damsel in distress."

"Yeah, well whatever they're doing, they better hurry up, or I'm gonna go out there and…"

But before the young princess could finish her empty threat, the unnatural silence of the room was suddenly shattered by a peculiar sound; it was kind of like a piano, only the chords were electronic and overly synthesized.

Artemis was about to comment on this strange turn of events, when five rose colored spotlights clicked on in front of them; forming a perfect straight line.

Suddenly, a strange pink mist arose from the blackness and the music took on a strange new tempo; becoming faster and even more dramatic.

Then, just as it was about to reach its climax, a dynamic and equally synthesized voice began to chant.

" ** _Super Sentai~_** "

" ** _Super Sentai~_** "

" ** _Super Sentai~_** "

" ** _Super Sentai~_** "

After that, the music slowed down again, and a pillar of fire suddenly shot up from beneath the spotlight on the far left. Moments later, the fire vanished and in its place stood a beautiful young woman; presumably in her early twenties. She was a shapely, purple skinned maiden with short red hair and dark red eyes; three of them in fact. Her clothes were of an incredibly skimpy gothic Lolita fashion; which seemed appropriate, given that her fangs, tail, and large bull-like horns clearly indicated that she was of demonic decent.

At any rate, after spontaneously materializing, the demon girl struck a number of bizarre, over the top poses, before announcing in a loud, clear voice,

"Fire Witch of the Underworld! Valkyrie Lucile!"

Before the young princesses could attempt to process the ridiculous display they'd just witnessed, a large object suddenly dropped from the ceiling and landed directly on the spotlight next to the demoness. When the dust settled, the object was revealed to be another woman, though this one was much different than the first. Unlike her, this woman was much bigger, at least nine feet tall, and completely ripped. She had four big arms, emerald colored eyes, and light orange skin that appeared to be made of solid rock. Her outfit, for lack of a better word, was simplistic compared to the first woman's; consisting only of a bronze breastplate with a matching belt and loincloth, which seemed to serve no function other than preserving her modesty.

Much like her companion, the rock woman performed a series of poses before loudly declaring,

"Rock Princess of the Galatean Empire! Valkyrie Titania!"

Seconds later, a large purple blob dropped down from the ceiling and landed in the spotlight on the far right with a sickening splat. But before anyone could gag, the slimy blob quickly reformed itself into the shape of a beautiful young woman with hot pink eyes and a weird looking tentacle that came out from the back of her head and ran all the way down to her feet.

Like the others, this purple slime girl struck a few quick poses before announcing herself as,

"Slime Maiden of the V'ringath Collective Consciousness! Valkyrie Roxane!"

Beside her, a pillar of water spontaneously emerged from the fourth spotlight and when it dissipated, a new woman stood in its place; this time, a human with dark chestnut hair. She was dressed in a dark blue, skintight, full body leotard that was decked out with what appeared to be futuristic ninja armor. Around her neck she wore a bright red ninja scarf that concealed half her face and fluttered heroically in the breeze.

As expected, the kunoichi struck a few quick dramatic poses before announcing,

"Aqua Ninja of the Milky Way Galaxy! Valkyrie Anastasia!"

Just then the music picked up again, and a fifth figure slowly descended onto the final spotlight. She sort of looked like an angel floating up there; a lime-skinned angel with long orange hair, antennae and gorgeous pink and blue butterfly wings. Her outfit consisted of a skimpy sailor girl uniform with matching shoes and a jeweled butterfly barrette in her hair.

When she finally reached the floor, the butterfly woman opened her hot pink eyes and struck a heroic pose before announcing,

"Wandering Star Child of the Cosmos! Valkyrie Salvia!"

The music grew even louder and more dramatic as the chorus returned.

" ** _Super Sentai~_** "

" ** _Super Sentai~_** "

" ** _Super Sentai~_** "

" ** _Super Sentai~_** "

Then, just as the music reached its ultimate apex, the five women all shouted in unison,

"Guardians of the Universe unite! We are the Valkyries!"

And with one final keyboard rift, the music came to an end; which was perfectly punctuated by a sudden explosion that erupted from just behind the five heroines; sending thousands of pink rose petals fluttering all across the room.

Before the girls knew what had happened the show was over.

Then came the awkward silence.

The young princesses had no idea how to respond to what they'd just seen.

So instead of talking they just sat there; with their eyes wide open and their mouths agape.

Finally, after what felt like an eternity of silence, one of the Valkyries spoke up.

"And… no one's saying anything, which means they hated it." The demon girl, Lucile, said bitterly. "Great idea, Sal. Now they think we're idiots."

"Hey, don't get all pissy with me, Lulu. This was a great idea." Said Sal the butterfly girl defensively. "If anything, they're in shock because you were 0.8 seconds behind the rest of us during the finale. You know, it's that kind of unprofessionalism that makes me wonder why I even…"

"Girls~ Girls~ Let's not do this now~" the slime woman said in a flowery, almost singsong voice. "We have guests we must attend to~ Annie, why don't you go over and…."

But before Roxanne could finish that sentence, her kunoichi friend had already ninja-dashed across the room and trapped the two young princesses in a bone-crushing hug.

"O-M-G~" the forty something year old woman squealed with girlish glee as she slowly squeezed the life out of her young 'nieces'. "You two are just too adorable! Last time I saw you, you were just little pink sacks of cuteness! But now you're like two little mini Stars! Oh~ I could just die!"

"I… _Know_ … _The_ … **_Feeling_** …" Artemis gasped as she and her sister's faces started to turn blue.

"Oh, heh-heh, whoopsie." She said embarrassedly as she released the girls from her death grip. "Sorry about that, kids. Guess I still don't know my own strength. Are you alright?"

"Yeah… _Cough_ … Never better." The diamond cheeked girl said sarcastically as she struggled to breathe.

"Yes… _Cough_ … _Cough_ … We're quite alright, Miss Anastasia." Marisol said, trying to sound as polite as possible, only to receive a playful yet painful slap on the back.

"Hey now. None of that _Miss Anastasia_ stuff, kiddo You call me Aunt Annie. Okay?"

"Oh… um… very well then, Aunt Annie. It's very nice to finally meet you and your… friends. Artemis and I have heard so much about you."

"Yeah, like how you used to be our mom's creepy stalk- ** _AAAAHHH_**!" Artemis howled in agony as her sister delivered yet another painful punch to the shoulder. "Seriously! When did you get this strong?"

And, yet again, her question was soundly ignored.

"You'll have to forgive my sister, Aunt Annie." Marisol said in a sweet yet condescending tone. "Mummy says Daddy dropped her on her head as a baby."

"Spoiled little- ** _AAAAAAAK_**!"

A kick to the knee that time.

"Oh, don't worry about it, Cupcake." The kunoichi said casually. "I know I used to be kind of an awkward little duckling, but I've changed a lot since high school. I mean, just look at me. I'm a _ninja_. In _space_! _O-M-G_ ~ I can't even say that without geeking out. Plus, you know, I've got my girls back there. I've got my man. And now I've got my own little duckling to fawn over. Man, life is sweet."

"Yes, Aunt Jackie told us about your new baby. Congratulations. Where…"

"Oh, Oskar took my little Genie Baby out for a playdate with some of his new friends from daycare. _Oh~ I wish I could've gone with him~_ "

"Genie Baby?" Artemis asked, sounding both confused and disgusted.

"Yeah, you know, that's just my cute little pet name for him. His real name's Eugene Oliver Greason; Gene for short. Now, I know what you're thinking, and if I'm being honest, at first I wasn't too keen about naming our baby after his old ferret either, but you know what, now I kinda love it."

"You… named your baby… after a rodent?" Marisol asked confusedly.

"Hey, just like you, Sol." Her sister said teasingly before turning to her Aunt Annie. "Mom named her after a **_OOOF_**!"

Punch to the stomach that time.

" _Don't_ call me _Sol_."

" _Cough_! Right… always with the forgetting."

"Err… right…" the kunoichi said awkwardly, before quickly switching gears. "Anyway, uh… what do you say we bring the houselights up. All this darkness can't be good for your eyes. Computer! Lights on!"

And just like that, the dark and dreary room was transformed into a gleaming blue and silver command center, complete with circular conference table, high-tech holo-display super computer, and the fabled Floating Crystal of Ogilac; a souvenir from the team's triumphant first mission.

"Whoa…" the young princesses said in unison as they took in their new surroundings.

"I know right?" the older earthling said with playful bravado. "So, this is your home for the next few weeks? What do you girls wanna do first? Tour of the Hall of Treasures? Training session in the Havoc Room? Play some video games on the Terrorcon 10,000? You know, Roxy's the champ at Tetris."

"Actually, we were hoping you could tell us a story first." Marisol said politely.

"Oh, uh… okay. I guess that could be fun. What do you wanna hear? The Battle of Sunshine Valley? The Liberation of the Pinhole Galaxy? That time Lulu fell asleep on the toilet?"

"Hey! I told you that in confidence!"

"Actually, we were hoping you could tell us what happened after Jackie lost her mind on that island." Artemis clarified; secretly grateful that her sister didn't hit her again.

"O…kay… you lost me."

"Look, we're not idiots, okay." Artemis spoke up again. "Ever since this whole 'vacation tour' started we've been getting a new piece of the same story every time we move. No way that's a coincidence."

"Indeed. Mummy said that the whole point of this summer was to expand our horizons in preparation for our fourteenth birthday. So clearly this story must play a key role in her plans."

" _Heh-Heh_. Well look at you two little cutie pies. Figuring all this out on your own." The older kunoichi said, clearly impressed by their precociousness. "Well, you're right, of course. Your mom set this whole thing up ages ago. You see, those first few months we spent training under Jefferson were the defining moments of our lives. They helped shape us into the people we are today. Hell, they helped change the fate of an entire dimension."

"Really?" the twins asked in unison.

"Sure, but I'm getting ahead of myself. Let's get back to my part of the story." The older woman said before pausing briefly to clear her throat. " _AHEM_! It all started about three weeks after Jackie got back from the island. We were all down at the park, taking a break after our latest training session, and I decided to indulge in my favorite pastime."

End Notes:

Thanks so much for reading, everybody. I hope you had a lot of fun. Work's a little hectic right now so I'm not sure if I'll be able to update this story on a regular schedule, but you have my word that I'll be working on it almost every day. Please remember to leave a comment if you have something to say, and I'll see you all in the next one.

Peace.


	2. Chapter 1

Hello, and welcome to the first real chapter of Part 4. As always, Star vs the Forces of Evil is owned by Disney and Stands are the creation of the brilliant and talented Hirohiko Araki. Blah, Blah, Blah, Enjoy.

1-Up Girl: Chapter 1.

( _Echo Creek, California: Present Day_ )

It was a beautiful day in Echo Creek, and… well, that's pretty much all the group had going for them at the time.

The situation was dire… no, scratch that. It would have to get better just so you could upgrade it to dire.

A murderer was roaming the streets.

A highly intelligent, amoral psychopath with a taste for human flesh, the ability to make her aura completely undetectable, and the chops to take down five of the deadliest Stand Users alive singlehanded.

What's more, it was very likely that this lunatic was now in possession of her own pair of Dimensional Scissors; meaning that she could literally go anywhere in the entire universe in the blink of an eye.

No sir, things were not looking good for our young heroes.

However, if there was one silver lining in all this, and there was _only_ one, it was that this particular psycho was patient and seemed to have a weakness for games. Since Jackie's return, the mysterious _Chemical Romance_ had given them a pretty wide berth; no one had heard so much as a word from her in over three weeks. Which meant that their training had gone on completely unmolested.

But alas, Jefferson could not allow himself to feel good about this. He knew what was really going on. He knew that Chemical Romance was only allowing them to continue their training because it made the game more interesting. She was bored with eviscerating random homeless people. Now she wanted a challenge.

 _Shudder_

No Sir, he did not like this one bit. It sickened him to think that at that very moment, their would-be killer could be watching them from the shadows. Giggling to herself as she devised new ways to torture them; both physically and mentally.

 _Sigh._

Oh well, at the very least, he could take solace in the fact that his students were progressing nicely with the next phase of their training.

So, technically that makes two silver linings.

Well… at least that's something.

Right?

"Yo, Jefferson!" called Janna from across the way, snapping the older Stand User out of his self-imposed funk. "Check this out!"

On a reflex, he turned his head toward the source of the intrusion and, to little surprise, he saw his star pupil lifting a large boulder over her head with one hand.

Very nice. Very nice.

Much better than yesterday.

"Looking good, kiddo." He said supportively before quickly remembering his own warning. "But don't overdo it, okay. You could get seriously hurt doing this."

"Yeah, yeah, whatever." The young Filipina replied dismissively, before turning her attention to Marco; who at the moment was busy doing one-armed pushups. "Hey, Marco! Check this out!"

Begrudgingly, the young Latino stopped what he was doing and gave Janna his full attention. Which she took as a cue to start flexing her free arm and wink at him seductively; much to his apparent revulsion.

Now, Jefferson knew for a fact that Janna was just playing around. Whatever feelings she may or may not have had for the young Latino died the moment Hekapoo told her that he was planning to use Jackie as a disposable sext doll. No, this was strictly about rubbing salt in his still open wound.

"Like what you see, Diaz?" she said in mock flirtation. "I bet you do. I bet since Jackie dumped your sorry ass, you're just aching for some company."

Yes, you heard that right folks, but it's not nearly as cut and dry as Janna made it sound. You see, a few days after Jackie came back from the island, she and Marco spontaneously announced that they were no longer dating. Neither one of them said exactly why they were splitting up, but Jefferson had his suspicions. At any rate, neither of them seemed all that broken up about the break up, but that didn't stop Janna from trying to get the young Latino's goat.

Case in point.

"Aww~ what's the matter, Marco? You know you love this." She said teasingly. "You know a big, tough, macho man like yourself needs a big, tough betty by his side. Come on~ You know you want me. Just look at these muscles."

"Muscles are supposed to tighten, not jiggle." Marco replied bluntly, as he gave up on pushups and forced himself into a seated position. "And as tempting as your offer is, I'm afraid I must decline. You see, I'm just not that into _fat chicks_."

Oh… not smart.

Marco was playing with fire now.

It was true that over the last few weeks, Janna's stress eating had caused her to put on a fair amount of weight; so much so that at present the young Filipina could be classified as 'chubby'. But alas, this was not a truth that she was willing to accept. In fact, whenever the subject of her weight was brought up, Janna would deny her new physique adamantly; often violently.

"What was that, _Diaz_?" Janna asked angrily as she tossed the boulder aside like it was a throw pillow; her left eye twitching like crazy.

"You heard me." Marco said boldly as he stood up to face his long time nemesis. "I don't go for _manatees_."

"Are you implying that I've gained weight?"

"I'm not implying anything. Your love handles say it all."

" _Pfft_. What love handles?"

In an act of reckless defiance, the young Latino reached under the Filipina's blouse and gave the sides of her swollen tummy a painful squeeze.

"Here! _Here_! **_Here_**! See 'em?"

"Get off of me!" she shouted as she slapped Marco's hands away and brought out her Stand.

The young Latino responded in kind and for a moment it looked as though they were going to have it out.

Fortunately, before they could come to blows, Star suddenly stepped in; using her own Stand to keep them apart.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! Take it easy you two." The young princess said, attempting to be the voice of reason. "We're supposed to be working on our overlaying. Not ripping each other's heads off."

Sorry, I know I keep breaking the flow of the narrative, but this is the last time, I swear.

For those of you who are wondering, which I assume is all of you, overlaying is a skill Stand Users can learn that utilizes their aura in a way other than manifesting their Stands.

Essentially, overlaying is when a Stand User focuses all their aura into one part of their body in order to go beyond its natural limits. For example, focusing it into one's muscles to attain super human strength. A useful skill to be sure, but one that comes with a heavy risk. Which is why most Users never bother learning it.

But alas, I stray from the point.

Back to the story.

"Star, get out of my way!" Marco said annoyedly as he struggled against the icy touch of the princess' Stand. "That hippo's had this coming for a long time!"

"What did you call me, _Paco_?"

"You heard me, you pudgy little monster!"

"Momma's Boy!"

" _Fat Ass_!"

" _Pansy_!"

" ** _Pig_**!"

" ** _Demon Lover_**!"

" ** _That's enough_**!" Jefferson roared as he stepped forward and loudly clunked their heads together like a couple of coconuts. "Now look you two. I've had just about enough of your crap for one day. We've already got one psycho roaming the streets of Echo Creek, we don't need two more!"

"Yeah, but he…"

"Zip it, missy!" the older Stand User said sternly, before calming himself down with a quick cleansing breath. "Look, I get it. You're both fourteen. You've both got hormones messing with your minds and naughty bits. And now you've got Stands, which are pretty much synonymous with emotional instability. But for the love of God, try to keep it together. I mean, come on. You don't see Jackie and Annie trying to claw each other's eyes out, do you."

"Uh… where are Jackie and Annie?" asked Star, suddenly making everyone aware of their missing comrades.

" _Ugh_ … oh boy…"

( _Meanwhile, a short distance away_ )

In a small cluster of trees just beyond the southern edge of the clearing, Annie sat beneath the shade of an old Dutch elm.

Having successfully completed their first round of overlay exercises for the day, the group had been instructed to take a short thirty minute break before moving on to the more advanced sets. And since she had had the foresight to bring her trusty sketchbook with her, the young otaku took this opportunity to indulge in her favorite pastime; IE, drawing.

Now, this may not come as a surprise to you, given her obsession with all things Japanese, but Annie had a passion for anime. And not just watching it, but drawing it too. In fact, she even had her own idea for an original series. Which also happened to be the subject of her current artistic endeavor.

Yes, the young lass was quite passionate when it came to her art; so much so that she failed to notice that her thirty minute break ended over half an hour ago. And it's likely that she might not 've noticed this for at least another hour, had her little world not been breached by a familiar intruder.

"Hey, Annie." Said Jackie as she popped up from behind the tree; snapping the young otaku out of her artistic trance. "What are you doing?"

"Oh… uh… hey, Jackie." She replied awkwardly. "I-I'm just doing a little sketching. What are you doing?"

"Oh, I was meditating over there, when I saw you over here all by yourself. So, you like to draw?"

"Uh… yeah, it's kinda my hobby."

"Cool! Can I see?"

"Well, uh…"

But before she could answer, Jackie had already snatched the sketchbook out of her hands and began looking over the open page.

"Whoa~ Annie, these are amazing!"

"Y-You really think so?"

"Totally! These are really, really good. Come on, you gotta show the others."

"I-I don't know. I've never…"

"There you are." Said the familiar voice of Jefferson as he walked up to the girls with the others in tow. "Jeez-a-loo, how many times do I gotta tell ya not to go off on your own. You almost gave me a friggin' heart attack."

"I'm sorry, Jefferson." Annie said apologetically. "I guess I just…"

"Hey guys! Take a look at this!" Jackie interrupted as she rushed over to show everyone the sketchbook. "Look at what Annie drew!"

For a split second, the young otaku was scared out of her mind. Scared about what the others, particularly Star, might think about her work; especially given its unusual subject matter. Fortunately, these fears were soon put to rest when the Mewman Princess loudly exclaimed,

"Oh my _gosh_ ~ Annie, these are _adorable_ ~"

"Y-You really think so?" she asked; blushing heavily.

"Are you kidding? Just look at these, they're amazing!"

With her usual flair and spontaneity, Star held up the open sketchbook so that everyone could see the picture that captivated her so.

To the casual observer, it might look like a rough sketch of a movie poster depicting five chibi-style fairies fluttering around what appeared to be an ancient wizard. But to those within the group, the characters took on an entirely different meaning.

"So… is that supposed to be us?" asked Marco, sounding like he was only half interested in what was going on.

"Uh… yes, well sort of." Annie replied awkwardly, before her artistic passion suddenly took over. "See, it's kind of a cover for this manga I wanna write. It's based off our adventures as Stand Users."

"Okay… but why is my character a girl?"

"I… took some artistic liberties." She answered casually, before switching into 'sales pitch' mode. "See, it's all about these five little fairies from the magical land of Echo Valley, who meet a cranky old wizard who gives them special powers that help them fight evil monsters and save the universe."

"Whoa~ Annie, that sounds amazing." Said Star, causing her blush to intensify.

"You really mean it? You guys really like my idea?"

"Well, I don't know about 'like'." Jefferson chimed in with his usual air of grouchiness. "But I am proud of you, Lightfoot. You've channeled your thoughts and feelings about an extreme situation into something positive. So far, that makes you the sanest member of our group. Nice work, kiddo."

For one brief and shinning moment, Annie felt a great sense of pride welling up inside her. But alas, this was all soon dashed by one thoughtless comment.

"Yeah, really nice work, Lightfoot." Janna said annoyedly. "So how come I'm not in it?"

"Janna, your fairy's right there." Star corrected her playfully.

"What? Where? I don't see it."

"It's right _here_."

The young princess casually pointed to the fairy on the bottom left; a particularly pump looking fairy who was greedily stuffing her face with what appeared to be a doughnut and rubbing her bloated belly.

Naturally, Janna's blood began to boil.

"What the hell!" she roared as she snatched the sketchbook from Star's hand and turned to face the artist. "What's the matter with you, Lightfoot? Why would you draw me like that?"

"Because that's exactly what you'd look like as a fairy." Marco said tauntingly.

"Oh, shut up, Paco! And as for you, Lightfoot, where the hell do you get off drawing me like that? Are you implying that I've gained weight?"

"Janna, it's just a drawing. Let it go." Jackie spoke up, but was promptly ignored.

"Change it now!"

"N-N-No!"

"What?"

"I said No! It's my art and I can do whatever I want with it!"

"Oh yeah? Well, you wanna know what I think of your stupid art?"

Without warning, Janna summoned her Stand and used its razor sharp claws to rip the offending sketchbook to shreds.

"There! What do you think about that, Picasso?"

To her credit, Annie didn't respond by sinking to her level.

Instead, she just burst into tears and ran off crying.

Janna turned back around, looking quite pleased with herself, only to find that everyone was giving her the stink eye.

"What?"

End Notes:

Thanks for reading, everybody.

See you in the next one.

Peace.


	3. Chapter 2

Star vs the Forces of Evil is owned by Disney and Stands are the creation of the brilliant and talented Hirohiko Araki. Enjoy.

1-Up Girl: Chapter 2.

( _Nine and a half minutes later_ )

It was an ugly scene down at the clearing.

Janna's callousness had sent Annie running off in tears, and now she was paying the price.

After ordering Star and Marco to train on the far side of the clearing, and sending Jackie to retrieve their runaway teammate, their 'distinguished' master started ripping into the young Filipina like a lion on a zebra carcass.

It was kind of disturbing actually. Seeing Jefferson rant and rave like that. It was like watching Mussolini on the balcony, but with more cursing. And poor Janna looked like she was about to start crying; not that she didn't deserve it.

At any rate, they were too far away to hear exactly what their teacher was saying, and in retrospect that was probably a really good thing.

"Wow…" Star muttered in frightened awe. "I've never seen anyone's face turn purple like that before."

"I have." Replied Marco, sounding just as shell-shocked as she did. "When I was ten, my Uncle Ernesto set my Mom's car on fire and my Dad just completely lost it."

"Really? _Your_ dad?"

"I know, it takes a lot to get my Old Man angry, but once he gets going he's like a volcano."

"Wow… so what happened?"

"Well, after about twenty minutes, Dad finally ran out of breath and Uncle Ernesto was on the ground crying. Almost five years later and those two still can't make eye contact."

"Yeesh…" Star muttered, before her focus shifted back on the duo across the way. "Oh my gosh! Did Jefferson just spit on Janna?"

"Pretty sure it was an accident." Marco answered. "Good God. She's too scared to even wipe it off."

"I wonder what he's saying to her."

"Probably nothing we need to hear."

"Yeah, maybe. But I still wanna know." The Mewman Princess said with a slight pout. "I've been trying to read Jefferson's lips but it's not making any sense. He keeps calling Janna a stupid duck."

Marco shot her a look, and after a few minutes it finally clicked.

"Oh… Harsh."

"I know right. But listen, if you really wanna hear what they're saying, we could always overlay our ears."

"Will that work?"

"Sure, I've done it lots of times. It's easy."

"Well… okay. If you say so."

And with that, the Mewman Princess closed her eyes and focused all of her aura into her eardrums.

Now she could hear everything.

" ** _…_** ** _LIKE AN IRISHMAN'S BANJO! AND ANOTHER THING…_** "

"Okay, Okay, I get it. Just please, stop yelling at me."

"Oh, you haven't heard yelling, missy! Do you have any idea how much you've screwed us? The only reason we have even a slim chance of beating Chemical Romance is because we have her outnumbered! That's why I set up a buddy system! But now, thanks to your **_jackassery_** , that freak has an easy target!"

"Look, I know I messed up, and I'm sorry. I just… I just wasn't thinking."

"No, you weren't! Because if you were, you would've realized that you don't have the luxury of being irrational! Damn it, Janna! I depend on you to be my eyes and ears! Your Stand is the only thing keeping Diaz inline! You're the linchpin of this whole group and you let me down!"

"I'm sorry. Please, I'll make it up to you, I swear!"

"We'll see about that. But in the meantime, let me make one thing clear. You'd better hope for your sake that Jackie gets to Annie before that acid spitting freak does. Because if anything happens to either of them because of something this **_stupid_** … I… I… I can't even begin to think up a punishment big enough, but trust me it's going to be **_awful!_** **_The kind of thing that Harry Truman might order to end a war! AND IF YOU TWO DUMBASSES DON'T STOP EAVESDROPPING ASAP, YOU'RE GONNA GET IT A MILLION TIMES WORSE!_** "

Instantly, the two Users released their auras and ended their little spy game.

Jefferson may not have had the power to make good on his threat, but the harshness and intensity of his voice briefly made them forget that little detail.

But as they hastily resumed their regiment of sit-ups and pushups, the duo couldn't help but dwell on their master's words.

They too hoped that Jackie found Annie before someone else did.

XXX

( _At roughly the same time_ )

Like a graceful gazelle sprinting across the savannah, Jackie dashed through the trees in search of her lost compatriot.

For a moment, she was worried that her teacher's fears were justified and that Chemical Romance had snatched up the poor, unsuspecting otaku. But luckily, thanks to her aura enhanced hearing, the young blonde soon picked up the unmistakable sounds of someone sobbing and that led her straight to her target.

Moments later, she found her teammate sitting under a tree, and as expected, she was sitting in a fetal position and crying into her knees.

Not good…

But not insurmountable either.

"Um… Hey, Annie." The young skateboarder said tentatively. "Are you alright?"

Not surprisingly, Annie did not reply.

"I'll… take that as a no. _Sigh._ Look, about what happened back there. Janna was completely out of line. And Jefferson's not gonna cut her any slack. He was actually screaming the F word at her right before I left. So… if you wanna come back with me, she won't bother you anymore. Not that you have to come back with me. I mean, Jefferson told me to bring you back, but if you'd rather not I understand. And I'd be happy to walk you home. Look, I even brought you your backpack. See?"

Annie lifted her face out of her knees and looked at Jackie with puffy red eyes.

"That… _Sniff._ That's Star's backpack."

Jackie suddenly felt very, _very_ stupid.

"Oh, uh… oh jeez. I am so sorry. They look almost exactly alike and…" the young blonde managed to stop herself mid ramble, and after a quick cleansing breath, she was able to compose herself. "Annie, look, I'm really sorry about what happened. I shouldn't have shown the others your sketchbook. You clearly weren't ready to share and if I hadn't shown everyone then Janna wouldn't 've… This is all my fault."

"No… _Sniff_. No it isn't." Annie spoke up weakly, as she wiped the tears from her eyes. "Jackie, you didn't do anything wrong. All you did was get excited. Janna's the one who destroyed my book. You… you actually… made me feel good about myself."

"Really?"

"Well… yeah… I mean, I've never shown anybody my sketches before. I was afraid people would make fun of them. Make fun of me. But you liked them. Everybody liked them. Jefferson even said he was proud of me. None of that would've happened if you hadn't taken my book. So… thank you."

Needless to say, Jackie was completely blindsided.

Here she was, ready and willing to do whatever it takes to help her friend get through this difficult time, and Annie, that poor sweet loveable doofus, had pushed through her own sadness just to make someone else feel better.

It was truly awe-inspiring.

"Say, um… Annie," the young blonde said with a warm yet reserved smile. "Mind if I sit beside you?"

"No… I mean, yes… I mean, sure. Go right ahead."

Jackie couldn't help but chuckle at the otaku's antics. But once she was sure that her friend hadn't taken offense, she stifled her laughter and took a seat beside her.

"Annie, has anyone ever told you how amazing you are?"

"Uh… no. I mean, my mom does sometimes. But…"

"Well, she's right." The young skateboarder interrupted. "Annie, I came here to make you feel better. But the second you knew I blamed myself you forgot all about your problems just to reassure me. That shows real compassion."

"So what?" the young otaku asked halfheartedly. "Anyone can do that."

"Sure, anyone can. But most people don't." Jackie replied. "Annie, it's not easy being nice in a world like this. Especially for people who know the things that we know. It's much easier to be apathetic or just plain mean, but not you. You're stronger than most people; stronger than any of us, apparently. Because you put other people's feelings before your own and that… that's really something else."

Annie gave no reply, but it was clear from her expression that she appreciated compliment.

"Here, let me show you something." The young blonde said as she reached into her back pocket and pulled out a pair of silver and aquamarine scissors with her first name tastefully etched across the blade. "Ta-Dah~"

"Are those…"

"Correct~ Real life Dimensional Scissors. Curtesy of Marco and his new… friend, Hekapoo." She explained with a subtle note of revulsion in her voice. "With these I can go anywhere I want in the whole universe. But mostly I just use them to hang out with Kelly. And to visit my Island, of course."

"Wait, you mean the island where Chemical Romance was holding you captive?" Annie asked confusedly. "Why would you wanna go back there?"

"Because it was the site of my spiritual rebirth." Jackie replied, as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. "And it's where I go to ponder the mysteries of the universe and to form new theories about its inner workings. One of which you've just proven."

"Huh? What are you talking about?"

"Well, you see, one of the things I've been meditating on these last few weeks is the nature of Stands. Specifically, why there are so few Stand Users who are active, healthy, and free of… personality disorders. I mean, I know what Jefferson said about power going to people's heads, but I don't think it's as simple as that."

"What do mean?"

"Okay… so, a Stand is basically just a physical manifestation of a person's true inner self, right? Well, I think that when a Stand first activates, or rather, when it first comes out, it brings the User's innermost self with it. All the thoughts and feelings and impulses that they try to keep bottled up are just suddenly pushed to the surface. See what I'm getting at?"

"I… guess."

"Let me put it this way. All my life, I've tried to play it cool and keep my fears and anxieties to myself. But after my Stand activated I was scared and anxious all the time. And I'd probably still be that way if I hadn't met the King. And it's the same with Janna. She always acts like she doesn't care about anything, but she's got tons of issues. And Marco… I… I just don't know who he is anymore."

"Um… okay… but what does all that have to do with me?"

"Annie, don't you see? You're the exception that proves the rule. Your Stand isn't making you crazy because there's nothing bad inside you. No daddy issues. No rage. No weird demon fetishes."

"What?"

"Er… never mind. What I'm trying to say is, you may have been a weird, awkward nerd on the outside, but inside you're a smart, compassionate, artistic person. And now your Stand is bringing all of that to the surface. Annie… you're becoming something new. Something beautiful."

Jackie wasn't sure if she'd worded that quite right, but it seemed to do the trick. Annie seemed to be feeling a lot better.

Unfortunately, the moment was soon ruined by an all too familiar ringtone.

 ** _SPACE UNICORN~_**

 ** _SOARING THROUGH THE STARS~_**

 ** _DELIVERING THE RAINBOWS ALL AROUND THE WORLD~_**

" _UGH_! Hold that thought." The young skateboarder said with disgust as she reached into Star's backpack to find the offending cellphone. "I hate this song!"

After about a minute or so of pawing through the Mewman Princess' cluttered mess of a carryon bag, Jackie finally found the annoying device, but by then the incessant ringtone had ceased.

And she probably would've been very irritated by this fact, had the glowing text on the viewscreen not caught her eye.

It read as follows.

 **You have 1 Missed Call from: StarFan13**

End Notes:

Thanks for reading.

See you in the next one.

Peace.


	4. Chapter 3

I've been looking forward to writing this chapter since before I decided to buckle down and write this series. So I'll make this quick. Star vs the Forces of Evil is owned by Disney and Stands are the creation of the brilliant and talented Hirohiko Araki. Enjoy.

1-Up Girl: Chapter 3.

( _Two and a half minutes later_ )

For what felt like hours, Annie stared at the message on Star's phone as if she were staring into the face of God.

 **You have 1 Missed Call from: StarFan13**

How was this possible?

How could she be calling Star when she didn't even have her phone?

Had someone else stolen it?

No, that wasn't possible.

She'd just used her phone less than half an hour ago.

It was in her backpack.

No one could've…

Oh, wait… Duh!

" _Ugh_! I'm an idiot!" Annie said with mock exasperation as she smacked her forehead with her palm. "It was Star! _Ah_! So obvious!"

"What the heck are you talking about?" asked Jackie confusedly.

"Don't you get it? You took Star's backpack by mistake. That means my backpack is back at the clearing. Star must've figured that out, so she used my phone to call her phone so she could tell you."

"Oh…" the young blonde replied, clearly feeling very foolish. "We are _dumb_."

"Yeah… I guess with everything that's been happening lately, we've kinda trained ourselves to always expect the worst. But it looks like this time we got ourselves worked up over nothing."

"Yeah… we are _so dumb_."

But as the girls took a moment to laugh at their own stupidity, the phone started playing that god awful ringtone again.

 ** _SPACE UNICORN~_**

 ** _SOARING THROUGH THE…_**

 _Beep_

But luckily, this time Annie was holding the infernal device in her hand, so she was able to answer it immediately.

"Hello~" she said sweetly, expecting to hear Star's voice answer her back.

But what she got instead was much more alarming.

" ** _Star Butterfly: Princess of Moony. Listen very carefully._** " Said the voice on the other end; a deep and masculine voice that was clearly being electronically altered. " ** _My name is FinalJudgement42 and I have taken StarFan13. If you ever want to see your precious blogger alive again, come to 527 Somerset Boulevard in fifteen minutes. Bring your friend Marco if you want, but no one else. Try anything funny and the girl dies. Do NOT test me._** "

 _Beep. Beep._

And just like that the call ended, and the girls were left feeling very, _very_ confused.

"J-Jackie…"

"I know, I heard." The young blonde replied, pointing to her aura infused ear. "What the hell was that all about?"

"I don't know. What did he mean when he said he'd taken StarFan? _I'm StarFan!_ "

"Yeah, and what was up with that 'Princess of Moony' thing? Star's home is called _Mewni_ not _Moony_. Even her dumbest enemies know that."

"Nothing about this makes any sense." Annie said in quiet exasperation. "Do you think it could be Chemical Romance?"

"Hmm… no, I don't think so." Jackie replied thoughtfully. "That voice was altered, but it was clearly male. And besides, why would she make up a new alias? She already has a name that sends shivers down our spines. No, this is someone else. Someone of obviously limited intelligence."

"You mean like that little bird guy who's always after Star's wand?"

"No… this plan is stupid, but it's a different kind of stupid than the kind of thing he might pull."

"Well, who's ever behind this, we need to go get Jefferson and the others right aw- ** _uh_**!"

Unfortunately for Annie, her rational argument was quickly derailed when Jackie placed a hand on her shoulder and shot her a cheeky and uncharacteristically Janna-like grin.

"Yeah, we could do that." She said with more than a hint of mischief in her voice. "Or…"

XXX

( _Across town, roughly thirteen and a half minutes later_ )

For those of you who don't know, Somerset Boulevard is a small, slightly rundown 0.2 mile dead end street on Echo Creek's upper west side. Back in 80s, it was _the_ place to be on Saturday night; packed with trendy nightclubs, three star restaurants, and all sorts of other fun diversions designed to separate teenagers and young adults from their hard earned money. But nowadays it was no different than any other street in Echo Creek; just a quiet little strip of laundromats, pawnshops, and designer coffee houses.

However, this quiet was soon disrupted by the all too familiar **_FTOOM_** of a portal opening.

Jackie and Annie were on the scene.

"Well… this looks like the place." The young blonde said casually as she stepped through the gapping hole in the skin of reality. "Huh, pretty shabby looking neighborhood. Eh, Annie?"

"I can't believe I let you talk me into this." The young otaku replied nervously. "Explain to me again why we're not calling Jefferson."

" _Heh-Heh_. Don't you see, Annie? That call may have been meant for Star, but it was you who answered it. Therefore, it is the Will of the Universe that you must rise to meet whatever challenges are to come. And since I was there with you it is my duty to join you on your journey and help in any way I can. That is our destiny. And destiny is our friend."

"You've really gone mental, haven't you."

"Hey, don't be like that. I'm just telling it like it is. And besides, Jefferson told me this morning that no new Stand Users have entered Echo Creek since the Diamond Dogs were slain. So, this is obviously the work of either an ordinary human criminal or one of Star's extradimensional enemies. Either way, they'll be unprepared for a couple of experienced Users like us. So we should be fine."

"But what if Jefferson was wrong? What if a new enemy Stand User slipped past Janna when she wasn't looking? Or worse, what if this is a trap set by some kind of creepy pedophile? Some gross old guy who wants to force feed us roofies and violate us with a toilet scrubber?"

"Now you're the one who sounds mental."

"Hey! I watch the news! Weird stuff happens!"

Just then, the girls' conversation was interrupted by the unmistakable tones of an electric keytar.

"Is that?" asked Annie.

"Couldn't be." Replied Jackie.

But low and behold, it was.

Around the corner, looking as spaced out and ignorant as ever, came Echo Creek Academy's resident John Bender, Oskar Greason. Who, as per usual, was playing his signature instrument with reckless abandon; as if he and it were the only two things in the entire universe. It wasn't until he was within five feet of the girls that he finally acknowledged their existence.

"Whoa… Jackie and StarFan." The young hipster said in the pseudo-stoner manner for which he was known. "What are you guys doing here?"

"Answering the call of destiny." Jackie answered with a surprisingly straight face.

"Whoa… that is _dooooooooope_. I'm just here cuz I got a text about this new store that only sells keytars."

"Wait, a text sent you here?" asked Annie concernedly. "Who was it from?"

"Huh… you know, I probably should've checked before I came down here."

"Yah think?"

Unfortunately, before Annie could continue with her sarcastic replies, the conversation was interrupted yet again; this time by the sudden intrusion of an annoying, yet oh so familiar voice.

"Well all-ruh-ruh-ruh- _right_!" the voice said in an obnoxiously playful manner. "Babe City, U-S-A~"

To everyone's collective revulsion, the owner of said voice, another Echo Creek Academy student by the name of Ferguson O'durguson, came swaggering over with his usual 'charm'.

"StarFan! My favorite otaku! _Domo Ari-Ga-To_ ~" the self-proclaimed ladies' man of Echo Creek said as he strutted around like a rutting peacock. "Ah~ And the lovely Miss Jackie Lynn Thomas~ So sorry to hear that you and Marco are on the outs, but you know what they say. When life gives you lemons, give em' a _squeeze_ ~"

As if his butchering of a time tested saying wasn't bad enough, Ferguson decided to punctuate it by groping Jackie's rather ample posterior; which of course, earned him a swift slap across the face.

"Ah-ha! You're weakening!" he replied, clearly not discouraged. "Three months ago, you would've kicked me in the groin. Admit it, baby. I'm growing on ya!"

"Ferguson, while I do my best not to vomit, mind telling us what you're doing here?"

"Well, _duh_. I'm here for the party, baby. What else?"

"Party? What party?" asked Annie confusedly.

"You know, the super exclusive underground dance party in the old entertainment district. My main man Alfonzo texted me about it like an hour ago."

"Wait… so both you _and_ Oskar got texts that told you to come down here?" the young otaku asked as the wheels in her head started turning.

But alas, before she could try to build on this, her concentration was suddenly broken by the appearance of yet another familiar voice.

"Oh, goodie." Said the voice with icy sarcasm. "Looks like we've stumbled into some sort of freak show."

Not surprisingly, the voice turned out to be that of Echo Creek Academy's head cheerleader and resident mean girl, Britney Wong; accompanied by her less than talkative sidekick, Chantelle Riverbottom.

As expected, Ferguson pounced at the opportunity.

"Well, well, well, well, wellington wells. If it isn't the lovely Miss Britney Wong." The ginger Casanova said cheesily. "I must say, your sudden arrival is like a blast of arctic wind on a crowded subway. Unexpected, yet _stimulating_."

"Ferguson, I'm going to give you ten seconds to get away from me before I reach for my taser." The rich girl replied; clearly not joking.

"Oh come on, baby. You can play hard to get all you want, but you know you can't resist this." He said, gesturing towards his own bulbous physique. "Heck, I defy you to name one, no, three good reasons why U and I don't spell forever."

"Just three reasons? Okay, fine. 1) You're fat. 2) You're parents are dirt poor. And 3) Everything else that all women everywhere find repugnant about you."

"Has anyone ever told you that your voice gets husky when you get mad? It's kinda sexy."

"That's it. You asked for it!"

"Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa!" Annie said frantically as she got between her two classmates. "Before we do anything we might regret, Britney, why don't you tell us what brings you to this neck of the woods. _Okay_?"

"Well, not that it's any of your business, _Lightfoot_. But Chantelle and I were down at the Westside Mall, when my shopping app started beeping about some new bath and body shop. But clearly it must've been a glitch, since there's nothing here but a freak, two burnouts, and a pervert."

"So let me get this straight. You, Oskar, and Ferguson all got messages to come to this exact… wait a minute! Since when do _you_ know _my_ last name?"

"Again, not that it's any of your business, Brace-Face. But I make it a point to know the first and last names of _all_ the people I make fun of."

"Okay… but why?"

"Because otherwise it would just be rude. _Obviously_."

"That doesn't make any sense at all."

"Maybe not to you. But then again, you're not rich."

Unfortunately, before this _riveting_ conversation could go any further, the girls were yet again interrupted; this time by an almost earsplitting **_CREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEK!_**

On a reflex, the six teens all spun around and finally took notice of the building they were standing in front of.

527 Somerset Boulevard.

A rundown, boarded up, old dump of a place, formerly known as the Lucky Land Arcade.

Only now the front door was mysteriously open.

"Okay… well, that's ominous." Said Ferguson, unwittingly speaking for everyone.

"Yeah… this is obviously a trap." Annie said nervously. "So, I say we all get as far away from here as possible and then call Jefferson. Sound good, Jackie?"

But the young skateboarder gave no reply.

"Uh… Jackie?"

The young otaku turned her head and saw that her friend had vanished.

"Oh no."

XXX

( _Inside the arcade, moments later_ )

Despite the inherent danger, and against all common sense, Annie dashed into the abandoned arcade in search of her lost companion.

Unfortunately, this was proving to be more difficult than she thought. The room was almost pitch black, and the layers of dust on everything were aggravating her sinuses. But still she persisted; weaving through the rows of forgotten video game cabinets like a marathon runner sprinting through the woods. Eyes darting back and forth. Peering through the darkness. Looking for any sign of… Ah-Ha!

"Jackie!" she exclaimed with equal parts joy and relief as she rushed towards her blonde companion; who for some reason was just standing out in the open. "Oh, thank goodness! I was so worried! Are you alright? They didn't hurt you, did they?"

"Oh, hey Annie." The young skateboarder replied casually. "I was wondering when you'd show up."

"Show up? But… I thought… Hold on, weren't you just kidnaped?"

"Kidnaped? Hell no, I came in here all by myself."

" _What_?"

"Yeah, I already told you. I'm following the flow of the universe to see where it takes me."

"Jackie, are you _nuts_? Don't you see that this is all a trap?"

"Of course, that's why I decided to spring it."

" _What_?"

"Annie, don't you see? The universe has brought us here for a reason. This is a turning point. A crucible. Mine was on the Island, but this one's all yours. This is your chance, Annie. Your chance to shed your awkward chrysalis, and become the beautiful Frog Princess you were born to be."

"You've been eating those weird mushrooms again haven't you?"

"Hey! They're over here!" shouted Oskar from somewhere in the darkness.

Within moments, the young hipster joined the two girls in their little clearing; followed swiftly by Britney and Chantelle.

"What the hell are you guys doing here? I told you to wait outside!" Annie shouted in exasperation.

" _I_ wanted to. But _Bug-Eyes_ here dragged us inside." Britney replied annoyedly.

"Hey, there is some seriously crazy stuff going on here, man. I couldn't just leave 'em hangin'." Oskar replied defensively.

"Okay, buy _why_ did you have to drag _us_ along with you?"

"Uh… because it's dark in here."

" _Ugh_!"

"Hey! There you guys are!" said the unmistakable voice of Ferguson as he sauntered over to join the others. "Man, this place is like crazy huge."

"Ferguson! What the _hell_?" the young otaku shouted again. "You were supposed to wait outside!"

" ** _PFFT_**! Yeah right! I haven't had any real fun since our last fieldtrip. No way I'm missing out on… whatever this is."

"No! No, No, No, No, No! We all have to get out of here right now before…"

 ** _SLAM!_**

 _CLICK!_

"… that happens."

Just then, the lights suddenly came on, and the air was filled with a mysterious, almost Arabian sounding music.

Acting on instinct, Annie craned her head towards the source and found that it was coming from one of the old arcade cabinets. Specifically, from one entitled, _The Prince of Araby_.

Unfortunately, before she could ponder this strange turn of events any further, a mysterious voice started booming over some unseen intercom.

" _What's that I hear? Someone wants to leave the party early? Oh, no, no, no, the fun is just getting started._ "

Suddenly, the old arcade machine started to shake; as if it were experiencing its own mini earthquake.

" _Okay now, everybody say the magic words!_ "

Then, the room was flooded by a blinding flash of white light.

" ** _HAIL 2 U!_** "

End Notes:

Thanks for reading.

See you next time.

Peace.


	5. Chapter 4

Star vs the Forces of Evil is owned by Disney and Stands are the creation of the brilliant and talented Hirohiko Araki. Blah. Blah. Blah. Enjoy.

1-Up Girl: Chapter 4.

( _An unknown amount of time later_ )

After what felt like an eternity of drifting through a sea of inky blackness, Annie finally regained consciousness.

Unfortunately, she woke up with the mother of all headaches.

" _Ugh_ …" the young otaku groaned as she feebly attempted to push herself up off the ground. "Whuh happened? Where am I?"

A fair question.

Last thing she remembered was getting hit by a blast of light in that old arcade, but now she appeared to be somewhere outside.

Somewhere really hot and… full of sand?

What the hell?

But alas, it was true. By some bizarre quirk of fate, Annie suddenly found herself sitting on the edge of tiny oasis in the middle of an enormous desert.

Only something wasn't quite right. The sand was a weird, almost mustardy yellow and the sky was the wrong shade of blue. But even stranger than that, there were dozens of fluffy white clouds hanging motionlessly in the sky and the sun was sporting what appeared to be a smiley face with sunglasses.

Everything looked like it belonged in a cartoon.

But wait, if everything else looked weird, then what did she… she needed a mirror!

Acting on pure adrenaline, the young otaku forced herself into a standing position and then dashed over to the pool at the center of the oasis to get a look at her refection. To her immeasurable relief, her face was still the same; same hair, same glasses, even the same braces. But her clothes on the other hand were an entirely different matter.

"What the heck?" she asked herself aloud as she examined her new outfit; which could only be described as late 90s romanticized Arabian. "Why am I dressed like Aladdin?"

However, before she could ponder this any further, a familiar groan snapped her back to 'reality'.

" _Ugh…_ " went the unmistakable voice of Jackie from somewhere close by.

Once again acting on instinct, Annie dashed over to where the groans were emanating from and, sure enough, she found her friend there lying facedown in the sand; only for some reason she was dressed like an Arabian belly dancer.

"Jackie! Jackie, are you okay?" she asked worriedly as she attempted to rouse the young skateboarder from her slumber. "Please, wake up!"

" _Ugh…_ huh? Whazah? What's going on?" Jackie replied groggily as she lifted her head out of the sand. "Annie? Is that you?"

"Oh, thank goodness! You're okay! I mean, you are okay, aren't you?"

"Yeah… I think so." The young blonde said as her eyes readjusted to the light. "But why are you dressed like Aladdin?"

"Um… I'm not really sure." Annie replied , sounding more than a little embarrassed. "But it's probably for the same reason you're dressed like a belly dancer."

"What are you…"

Jackie's eyes went wide with alarm as she suddenly noticed the revealing outfit she was wearing.

"Oh my **_GOD_**! I look like a stripper!"

"What? No… no, you look… good. You look… cute."

"Really?"

"Oh, sure. I mean, with your body, you can totally pull off a look like that. Not that I've been _looking_ at your body or anything, I've just noticed that you've got the hips for it, that's all. Not that your hips are _big_ , I just meant that you're a little meatier than most girls our age, and… is it getting hot or is it just me?"

"It's a _desert_ , Lightfoot. It's always hot." Said a snide voice that could only belong to Britney Wong. "And if you two morons are done flirting, maybe you can focus whatever braincells you have on figuring out a way to get us all home."

As expected, the Queen of Mean herself came strolling over a nearby sand dune; sporting a look of annoyed arrogance that could only come from a lifetime of getting everything she ever asked for. She was followed swiftly by Chantelle, then Oskar, and finally Ferguson. All annoyances aside, Annie was relieved to see that they were all unharmed. Though she was confused as to why they were all wearing the same outfit as Jackie.

" _Aw_ _ **Yeah**_!" Ferguson exclaimed with his usual air of jackassery. "Now that's what I'm talkin' 'bout! I knew something cool would happen if I stuck with you guys. Granted, I'm not really loving this outfit, but just look at this scenery! I wonder what dimension we're in?"

"Shut up, Ferguson." Britney said cuttingly. "Although that is a good question. Thomas. Lightfoot. You two hang out with crazy magic people. Any ideas?"

"Um… well…" Annie said nervously; feeling very uneasy about being put on the spot. "I… I mean, I think it's very likely that we're still in the arcade. Only it's been transformed into a sort of… Pocket Universe."

Most of the others shot the young otaku with looks that ranged from confused to dismissive, but luckily Jackie was their to back her up.

"Oh, you mean like in that story Jefferson told us about the Italian count and the wine barrel?"

"Yes, exactly. Only this User seems to be able to affect a much larger space. And apparently he can alter the appearance of anyone within that space. Or at least their clothes."

"Yeah, and I noticed something just before I blacked out earlier. There was something weird about this guy's aura. It felt sort of… familiar."

"I felt that too. And now that I think about it, there's something really familiar about this desert. I just can't shake the feeling that I've seen all this somewhere before."

"Yeah… I haven't understood half of what you dorks have been saying, but none of it sounds like a way home." Brittany said dismissively, before adopting a look of tired revulsion. " _Ugh…_ I can't believe I'm saying this, but maybe we should call… _Star_ for help. _Ugh!_ It hurts."

"Unfortunately, that's not gonna work." Jackie replied. "All our phones were in our pockets when our clothes disappeared, so they're long gone. Same goes for my Dimensional Scissors. I hate to say it, but it looks like we're stuck here."

" ** _YOU SAY THAT LIKE IT'S A BAD THING! AH-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA!_** " went a loud, booming voice that seemed to come from everywhere at once.

Suddenly, the ground began to shake and a violent whirlpool formed in the center of the oasis.

And from out of that maelstrom arose a glorious golden oil lamp that sparkled in the sunlight.

All the weirdness aside, it was truly a wonderous sight to behold.

But alas, before the group could take the opportunity to enjoy it, a strange emerald colored smoke started spewing from its spout.

" ** _AH-HA-HA-HA-AH! FOOLISH MORTALS! THOSE WHO DESECRATE MY SACRED SPRING MUST PAY A HEAFTY PRICE!_** " the voice bellowed as the smoke stated to take on a more humanoid shape. " ** _PREPARE TO DEFEND THY SELF! OH BRAVE PRINCE OF ARABY! FOR I, THE GREAT LE JINN, AM NOW YOUR JUDGE!_** "

Suddenly, a great gust of wind blew through the oasis; forcing everyone to shield their eyes from the sand.

" ** _NOW, EVERYBODY SAY THE MAGIC WORDS! HAIL 2 U!_** " ****

Then there was a flash of blinding white light and for a split second the entire world went blank.

But when the light finally faded, Annie quickly realized that everything had changed.

No longer was she standing in an oasis, but at the top of what appeared to be an Arabian styled medieval tower. But even more alarming than that, Jackie and the others were no longer standing beside her, but instead they were trapped in large iron cages; hung from chains that appeared to be attached to nothing but air.

"Jackie!" Annie cried.

"Annie!" Jackie replied.

"Are you guys okay?"

"Are we _okay_?" Brittany cut in harshly. "Are you kidding me? We're locked up in cages, dressed like hookers, and stranded in a crazy magic desert world! In what universe would any of that indicate us being okay? And also, how come you're not locked up here with us?"

"Because she's Player-1." said the voice from earlier, sounding much calmer and less bombastic than before. "Whereas the rest of you are merely the scoreboard."

Once again acting on instinct, Annie craned her head upward and at last found the owner of the mysterious voice.

And oh what a sight he was.

It was like something straight from the incense soaked mind of Scheherazade herself. Emerald green skin. Jet black Fu Manchu moustache. Rippling muscles covered in golden bands and rings. And a lower body composed of nothing but wispy green smoke.

Yes, dear reader, their captor was in fact a genie; or at the very least he looked like one.

"Whoa…" went the young otaku, speaking for everyone in attendance.

"Whoa? Is that all you've got to say?" the emerald jinn said amusedly. "Really now, I expected better from you, Annie."

"You… Y-Y-You know my name?"

"Oh, I know a lot more than that, my dear. _AHEM!_ Name: Anastasia Drizella Lightfoot. Date of Birth: August 5th, 2001. Favorite Color: Mauve. Favorite Food: Happy Cat Instant Ramen. Favorite Movie: Lord Kante and the 77 Samurai. Relationship Status: Single. Professional Status: Highschool Student. Owner, Proprietor, and Sole Contributor of the Star Butterfly Forever Blog. Did I miss anything?"

"I… I… I…" the young otaku stammered, clearly disturbed by the enemy's in-depth knowledge about her. But after remembering one of Jefferson's lessons on intimidation, she quickly shook it off and adopted a more assertive demeanor. "Alight, listen you! I've had just about enough of this nonsense! I demand that you tell me who you are and how you know so much about me! Right now!"

"Introductions? Well, alright. I suppose that's fair." The jinn replied; clearly not intimidated. "Allow me to introduce myself. My name is John Ringo. And I believe you know my older brother."

"Older brother?" she repeated confusedly, only for the truth to suddenly hit her like a ton of bricks. "Wait, Ringo? As in Paul Ringo? That psycho plant guy? _He's_ you're brother?"

" _Was_ my brother." The jinn corrected her. "But don't worry, I don't hold his death against you."

"You… You don't?"

"Hell no. Pauly and I were never really all that close. I mean, we were practically from different generations. Born fifteen years apart. And between you and me, I never liked him all that much. He was always getting into trouble when we were young. Always upsetting our dear sweet mother."

"Um… okay."

"Yeah… anyway, as for your second question. The reason I know so much about is simple. I read your blog."

Ah, now that certainly explained a lot.

You see dear reader, during the first few months of the Star Butterfly Forever Blog, Annie had unknowingly left the Auto Correct Function on her laptop switched on. So, for the first ninety thousand entries on her blog, the word Mewni was changed to Moony. Eventually, she figured this out and turned off the Auto Correct, but she never bothered to go back and correct her earliest entries.

It also explained how he'd managed to duplicate her phone number. Her website was linked to her FaceTime account. He probably hacked it to gain all her personal information.

Very, very unsettling.

"But wait, if you don't care about avenging your brother, then why are you doing all this?"

" _Heh-Heh-Heh._ Isn't it obvious? I want to play a game with you."

"A game?"

"Yes, you see, when I first heard that my big brother finally got iced, I raced right on down here to meet the ones responsible. Imagine my surprise when I learned that Big Bad Pauly had his timeclock punched by a bunch of kids and an old drunk. I almost peed myself from laughing. After that I knew I had to put at least one of you through the wringer. So I set up a few wireless webcams around that clearing of yours while your friend Janna was sleeping. Then I just sat back and waited for the perfect time to spring my trap. Honestly, I was hoping to play against either Star or Marco, but I can't say I'm disappointed to see you here, my perky little blogger."

Very, _very_ , **_very_** unsettling.

"Wait… what exactly do you mean by 'play'?"

" _Heh-Heh-Heh_. Haven't you figured it out yet, Annie? Just think about it. Your clothes. This scenery. The fact that I lured you all into an _arcade_."

The wheels in Annie's head started turning.

Suddenly, she realized why this world seemed so familiar.

"Hold on… are you saying that we're inside a video game?"

" _Ding! Ding! Ding! Ding! Ding!_ That's correct, my dear. For you see, this is the power of my Stand: Pac-Man-Fever. The power to bring any video game I choose to glorious life! **_AH-HA-HA-HA-HA!_** "

"Okay, _now_ I believe you're Ringo's younger brother."

"Don't get cute with me, Lightfoot." The emerald Jinn said threateningly. "Because in case this wasn't already painfully obvious, _I_ control this world. And the only way out is for you to beat me and win the game."

"And let me guess, if I lose, we'll all be trapped here forever, right?"

"Oh no, of course not." Ringo the Younger said innocently. "If you lose, you'll die… **_painfully_**."

"Oh…" Annie replied as the blood drained from her face. "Well… then, what if I just refuse to play?"

"Then you and your friends will be stuck here in the opening cutscene until you all starve. And believe you me, that's not much better."

"Oh… uh… then what if…"

"No! There are no 'what-if's' in _my_ world!" the jinn yelled explosively. "There are no loopholes! No other angles! No trickedy tricks! You either play the game my way, or you don't play at all! Got it?"

"Uh… got it."

"Good! Now, if there are no more questions, let's get this show on the road." The younger Ringo said menacingly as he stretched his arms out wide in an overly dramatic fashion. "Now, everybody say the magic words! **_HAIL 2 U_**!"

End Notes:

Quick question: Just out of curiosity, what voice actor would you pick for Jefferson?

Anyway, thanks for reading and I'll see you next time.

Peace.


	6. Chapter 5

Finally, we get into some action. Star vs the Forces of Evil is owned by Disney and Stands are the creation of the brilliant and talented Hirohiko Araki. With that said, Enjoy.

1-Up Girl: Chapter 5.

( _Picking up right where we left off_ )

 ** _BAAAAATOOOOOOOOOOOOM!_**

The relative calm of Ringo's Pocket Universe was suddenly shattered by a blast of emerald colored smoke.

Annie wasn't sure if she'd imagined it or not, but she could've sworn she saw the word **_BATOOM_** whoosh right past the side of her head.

When the smoke finally cleared, there was an enormous, colorful, slightly cartoonish looking slot machine like device hovering just above the tower's dead center.

The young otaku couldn't help but stop and marvel at this strange magical mechanical wonder.

It truly was a sight to behold.

But alas, before she could allow herself to get too comfortable, her captor quickly cut in.

"Fort those of you who weren't paying attention before, please allow me to elucidate the situation." The younger Ringo said in a flamboyant yet menacing manner. "The world you see around you was spawned from the 1987 classic arcade game _The Prince of Araby_ ; a highly ambitious game for its time and supposedly the precursor of all the party style video games we play today. The story goes that long ago in the magical land of Araby, the brave and handsome Prince Abu Bubu, that's you, was traveling across the great desert with his five wives, that's them. One day, they stumble upon an oasis and decide to make camp for the night. But what they don't know is that the oasis is owned by the evil genie Le Jinn, that's me, who loves games and hates all humans. And as punishment for trespassing, the Prince is forced to go through a series of trials. With me so far?"

"Uh… yes." Annie answered, half lying.

"Good, now as I was saying, the rules of this game are fairly simple. There are eight stages in total; seven minigames and one boss battle. The minigames are chosen at random by this machine right here." The emerald jinn explained, as he gestured towards the massive floating slot machine. "This first slot represents the category of the minigame, the second one represents the specific game from that category, and the last one represents the level of difficulty. The minigames are divided into seven categories: Fighting, Shooting, Racing, Sports, Puzzle, Platform, and Other. There are ten games for each category and each game can be set to a difficulty level from one to ten; ten being the hardest. For a grand total of seven hundred possible combinations. For each game you win, one of your brides will be set free. Win four games and you move on to the final boss battle to save the fifth bride. Lose four games or the boss battle and it's Game Over. At which point, you and your brides will be thrown into a vat of boiling lava. And since this is the arcade version and there's no way to save your progress, you'll only get one shot. You get all that, sweet cakes?"

"Uh… yes." The young otaku answered, her head feeling like it was about to burst.

"Good, now let's get this show on the…"

"Wait just a second!" Ferguson called out suddenly. "I've got like five or six questions I'd like to ask first."

"Oh, really?" replied Ringo, somehow sounding both dubious and annoyed. "Then by all means, ask away."

"Okay, first of all, I'd just like to point out that the set up for this game is completely half assed, even for the time it was made. I mean, what kind of prince travels across the desert with just his harem? Wouldn't it make more sense to have him travel with a caravan, or at the very least give him a camel? Second, I- _YEEE-AAAAAH-AAAAAAH-AAAAAH-AAAAAAAAH_!"

So fixated on his own blather, the tubby ginger failed to notice that his captor had teleported himself right next to his cage; or at least that was the case until he grabbed hold of said cage and started shaking it like a soda can. The emerald jinn kept this up for about a minute or so, clearly taking great joy in watching Ferguson slam his face against the iron bars again and again, before finally ceasing and allowing him to flop down on the floor in a battered heap.

"Anymore questions?" Ringo asked threateningly.

"No… _Ugh_ … I'm good." Ferguson replied, trying to sound tuff in spite of the fact that his nose was broken.

"Good. Now, if there are no further delays… _ON WITH THE GAME_!"

With another puff of green smoke, the evil jinn vanished and then reappeared next to the giant slot machine.

"Okay! Now, everybody say the magic words! **_HAIL 2 U!_** "

And with that, the cartoonish device suddenly sprang to life and its three massive slots started spinning like crazy.

But while their captor was distracted by his infernal machine, Jackie took the opportunity to check up on her injured classmate.

" _PSSST_! Ferguson!" she called, trying her very best not to get the jinn's attention. "Hey, Ferguson! Are you alright?"

"Yeah, I think so." The battered teen replied, before pausing briefly to groan and wipe the blood from his nose. "Um… Jackie?"

"Yeah?"

"This is different, isn't it?"

"What do you mean?"

"I mean this isn't like an adventure with Star, is it? That guy down there isn't screwing around. He's really gonna kill us if StarFan loses, isn't he?"

"Yeah, probably."  
"Oh my god." The ginger pervert said despondently. "I can't believe this is happening. I'm gonna die and I've never even kissed a girl."

"Well, it finally happened." Brittany chimed in unexpectedly. "A setup to an insult so easy even I won't touch it."

Ignoring this, Jackie attempted to ease her fellow captive's worries.

"Everything's gonna be okay, Ferguson." She said in a comforting voice.

"Oh yeah? And what makes you so sure?"

"Because I have faith in my friends. I know Annie will save us. I can feel it in my gut."

"Well… if you say so. But just one question?"

"What?"

"Who the hell is Annie?"

But before the young skateboarder could attempt to answer, their captor suddenly let out a squeal of girlish delight.

" _OH-HO-HO-HO-HO_ ~ It's slowing down~ It's slowing down~"

And sure enough, it was.

Slowly but surely, the first slot came to a halt.

"Category: Sports."

Then the second.

"Game: Homerun Havoc."

And then the last.

"Difficulty Level: 5."

The emerald jinn smirked most wickedly.

"Now, everybody say the magic words! **_HAIL 2 U!_** "

Another blinding flash of light and the scene changed yet again.

Suddenly, they all found themselves in a massive arena full of cheering fans.

"Whoa…" went Oskar in astonishment. "Is this Fenway?"

At first Jackie didn't know what the heck he was talking about. But then she noticed the baseball diamond bellow.

Homerun Havoc.

Now it all made sense.

"Actually, this arena was modeled after Yokohama Stadium; home field of the Yokohama DeNA BayStars." Ringo said in an amused yet lecturing tone. "Which makes it the ideal setting for our first event: Homerun Havoc! As with most minigames, the rules are simple. Annie will have ninety seconds to score as many homeruns as she can. If she gets three strikes, four balls, five fouls, or less than six homers before time runs out she loses. With me so far, dearie?"

"Um… Yes." Annie replied nervously.

"Good, because you're up to bat."

Then, with a snap of his emerald fingers, an aluminum bat spontaneously materialized in the young otaku's hands.

"Better step up to the plate~"

From her cage high above the stadium, Jackie could see the anxiety in her friend's face.

And judging from the way Ferguson was hyperventilating, he wasn't faring much better.

"Oh God! Oh God! This can't be happening! Why did it have to be a Sports game?"

"Ferguson, please calm down." The young skateboarder spoke up; attempting to be the voice of reason. "I'm sure Annie will do just fine."

"Are you nuts? Just look at her! She's a geek! There's no way…"

"Shut up, Fat Ass." Britney cut in sharply. "Lightfoot's got this."

Naturally, this comment surprised everybody; including Annie herself.

"Wh-What did you just say?" asked Jackie confusedly.

"I said, she's got this." She replied casually, before looking down at the young otaku on home plate. "Hey, Lightfoot!"

"Um… yes?"

"Show this nerd what the Firecracker can do."

In the span of several seconds, Annie's expression went from shock to understanding and finally settled on cold hard determination.

"You got it." She replied confidently before taking a proper batting stance.

Confused, but not deterred, the emerald jinn snapped his fingers yet again, causing a smaller, more baseball themed clone of himself to materialize on the pitcher's mound.

"Okay, kiddies! Enough chit chat! The clock is set! The pitcher is ready~ Let the games begin~"

A split second later, the stadium's scoreboard let out a blaring buzzer noise and a countdown clock appeared.

Ninety seconds and counting.

Wasting no time, the pitcher threw the first ball and…

 ** _THWACK!_**

The ball went flying straight into center field and beyond.

One point on the scoreboard.

Naturally, everyone was surprised; except for Britney, who just smirked in amusement.

"Well… that was… lucky." Ringo said in a pitiful attempt to sound in control. "But let's see you do that aga…"

 ** _THWACK!_**

Two points.

 ** _THWACK!_**

Three Points.

 ** _THWACK!_**

 ** _THWACK!_**

 ** _THWACK!_**

 ** _THWACK!_**

 ** _THWACK!_**

 ** _THWACK!_**

Again and again, Annie hit one homerun after another; racking up points like a well oiled machine.

Before long, the clocked reached zero.

The game was over.

And to the understandable astonishment of nearly everyone in attendance, the young otaku had scored twenty homeruns in a row; without making a single mistake.

Even Ringo was speechless; which was nothing short of a miracle.

So, after an unseen announcer declared Annie the winner, the scene spontaneously shifted back to the evil jinn's tower; this time without a bright flash or his signature catchphrase.

Once the shock had finally worn off, the realization that they were now one step closer to freedom sunk in and Jackie and the other captives started to cheer.

"YEAH! Way to go, Annie!"

"Oh my god! That was unbelievable!"

"Whoa… so awesome."

"Um… thanks, guys." Annie replied sheepishly; clearly not used to receiving this much praise.

Moments later, Britney's cage was enveloped by the evil jinn's green smoke, and the queen of mean suddenly appeared on the ground next to Annie.

"Nice work, Firecracker." Britney said to her savior; sounding uncharacteristically sincere.

"Um… thank you, Britney. But… how do you know about my old nickname?"

"Yes, I'm rather curious about that myself." Said Ringo angrily, having finally recovered. "You little _bitch_. You were smirking all the way through that first game. How the hell did you know she could do that?"

Despite his caustic tone and massive size, Britney was not intimidated by the emerald jinn.

So without even flinching, she just looked straight into his eyes and smirked.

"Well, it's all rather simple really." She said with casual condescension. "I don't like to advertise this around school, but I'm actually a pretty big baseball fan. The San Diego Padres are my favorite. Why, I even have an extensive collection of rookie cards back at my mansion."

"Y-Y- _You're_ a sports fan?" Ringo asked dumbfoundedly. "But you're a cheerleader. A rich, mean girl cheerleader! This doesn't make any sense!"

"Well, like I said, I don't like to advertise it. But I do love the game. In fact, five years ago, I even had my parents send me to an expensive baseball camp in Oakland for the summer. I was great, naturally, but there was one kid who was even better. A kid who shattered the camp record by hitting thirty-six consecutive homeruns in three games. A kid that everyone called Firecracker because every time she hit the ball it sounded like an explosion. And that kid is standing right here."

Suddenly, Annie let out an audible gasp of realization.

"Wait a minute! You mean you're _that_ Britney?" she asked amazedly, as she gave the cheerleader a quick once over. "Wow… you look a lot different without pigtails."

"So I've been told." Britney replied casually before turning her attention back to Ringo. "Anyway, that's why your stupid plan didn't work."

"P-Plan? What plan? I didn't have any plan." The emerald jinn said nervously.

"Look, I don't really get what all this is about, but I'm guessing that since you created this world that also means you can control it." The young cheerleader reasoned. "That spin wasn't random. I'll bet you deliberately picked a sports game because you took one look at Lightfoot and assumed she'd suck at it. Admit it."

"I… I… SHUT UP! This is my world! I can do whatever I want!"

"I'm gonna take a wild guess and say you don't have any friends, do you." Britney continued, unfazed by his outburst. "I figured as much. What with you being so unpleasant to be around. And since you're not used to being around people that's probably why you suck so hard at profiling."

"My profiling is flawless!"

"Bull! You're so-called profiling is based on superficial stuff we posted on the internet and outdated stereotypes. You're just like those dorks from school. The ones that spend all their time in their moms' basements playing role playing games. Losing themselves in cheap fantasy worlds because they can't do anything in the real one."

"You insolent little…"

"No, I take that back. You're worse. You're so lame you can't win at your own game without cheating."

"Shut up! **Shut up**! **_Shut up_**!"

"You think you're so cool, just because you can win at a stupid video game. Well, let me tell you something. People like me, people like Lightfoot, we win at _life_. And that's why you're gonna lose."

" ** _ENOUGH!_** " the emerald jinn roared, causing the entire world to shake. "Next game. **_NOW_**!"

End Notes:

Hope you guys liked this chapter. I had a lot of fun writing it. Anyway, see you in the next one.

Peace.


	7. Chapter 6

Here's an almost double length chapter to serve as a halfway point. Star vs the Forces of Evil is owned by Disney and Stands are the creation of the brilliant and talented Hirohiko Araki. Enjoy.

1-Up Girl: Chapter 6.

( _Meanwhile, on Mewni_ )

Lord Mildrew was on the verge of a Class 5 panic attack.

But then again, how could he not be?

The situation in Whimsy Valley was escalating wildly out of control.

When he'd promised his dearly beloved sister Artemis that he'd help her husband with his latest civil rights campaign, he'd expected to just donate some money to the cause or help circulate a petition. Heck, at most he thought he'd just help Atlas get his foot in the door with the other nobles.

But now, after just three short weeks, he was one of the founding heads of a full scale revolution.

Boy, when things go wrong.

Ever since King Brando and his Hobyahs showed up out of nowhere, all talk of a peaceful resolution was thrown right out the window. Now everyone, Atlas included, was convinced that the only way to stop Queen Moon's reign of terror was for Monsters and Mewmans to band together and remove her from power by force. And with his Magic Arrow granting the Monsters new abilities that rivaled even the Wand's power, it was starting to look like they just might pull it off.

Not that Mildrew was entirely against this, mind you. After all, the Queen's actions as of late had been most alarming. Sending children into Monster populated areas to act as suicide bombers? Absolute madness. Plus, there was the little matter of him being passed over for King by an ill-mannered barbarian with the IQ of a mule hoof due to Her Majesty's unbelievably bad taste in men. So really, a good old fashioned dethroning wasn't entirely unjustified.

But on the other hand, even a quick and easy insurrection will have casualties. Innocent civilians could get caught in the crossfire. Like women and children. Or old people. Good heavens! What if someone he knew got hurt? Or worse? What if something happened to Atlas? Or young Solaris? Artemis would never forgive him if he let anything bad happen to either of them. Nor would he ever forgive himself.

Good Lord, it was like a nightmare.

"Uncle Mildrew?" asked a familiar voice from somewhere behind; shaking the Mewman Lord out of his trance. "Are you alright?"

Acting on instinct, Mildrew spun around and, to little surprise, he saw his young nephew standing at the mouth of his tent.

"Oh, um, hello there, Solaris." He replied, attempting to hide his anxiety. "Yes, I'm quite alright. Just… reviewing our roster. You know, keeping of track of how many soldiers we have so far. Which ones have Stands. What they do. That sort of thing. It's all rather boring really. Nothing you'd be interested in."

"Actually, I'd kind of like to hear about some of that." The young lad replied. "If I'm going to be King someday I'm going to need to know about these sorts of things."

"King?" his uncle repeated confusedly.

"Oh, that's right, you weren't at the rally this morning. Well, to summarize, the people have spoken. Both Monsters and Mewmans. By an almost unanimous vote, they want my father to take the throne once the Butterflies have been remove from power. Which means someday soon, I shall become the Prince of Mewni. And as such, must be prepared for my future role as King."

"Well, I'm just… delighted to hear that, my boy." The older Mewman said as he nervously tugged on his shirt collar. "But… don't get too ahead of yourself. We still have a long way to go before the… _gulp_ … fighting starts."

"Oh, but it won't be that much longer, Uncle. Already we have over six thousand Stand Users in our army, and more Monsters are coming in every day. Very soon we will have the power we need to obliterate the Queen, the High Commission, and all those selfish stuffed shirts in the capital in one fell swoop."

"Now wait just a minute, Solaris. It's all well and good to want to help the less fortunate. But don't forget that those 'stuffed shirts' are your people too."

"Those _people_ are nothing but selfish, lazy parasites feeding off the sweat and toil of others. They are the reason so many Monsters and Mewmans go to bed hungry. They turn both races against each other just to keep themselves in power. And worst of all, they had the gall to brand you a coward just because you refuse to spill another person's blood. They are pure evil and they all deserve to die."

"Now wait just a darn minute." Mildrew said in the most authoritarian tone he could muster. "I may not be your father, but as long as you are under my watch you will not say such things. Is that clear?"

"But Uncle…."

"No buts. Now listen, Solaris. I know that you are very intelligent for a boy your age, and because of your upbringing you are much more… enlightened than most Mewmans. But all that aside, you are still a child. And a very sheltered one at that. In all your fourteen years you've never ventured far beyond this valley; let alone made it to the capital. So don't go spouting off about things you don't understand."

"But Uncle…"

"But nothing. Solaris, the world is much more complicated than you realize. You can't simply organize people into categories and decide which ones deserve to live. That kind of thinking is what creates people like… well… like that poor Higgs girl you've got locked up in your cellar. It's like your father always says, 'you can't base your assumptions on what other people say. You have to discover the truth for yourself using your own eyes and brains.' Eyes and Brains, Solaris. Eyes and Brains. Remember that."

"Yes, Uncle."

"Good. Now where on Mewni did you learn such poisonous propaganda?"

"At the rally this morning. It was part of King Brando's latest sermon."

" _Ugh_. Of course it was." The Mewman lord said with disgust. "Who else but that goblin faced ghoul could spin such rhetoric."

"But Uncle, King Brando and the Hobyahs are working miracles. It's because of them that Monsters and Mewmans are finally working together towards a common goal. And it's because of their Magic Arrow that the Monsters finally have powers of their own; powers that rival even Queen Moon's magic. How can you speak so ill of them?"

" _Sigh._ Solaris, I know that King Brando and his… associates seem like they're here to help. But you must understand. People rarely do things for others without wanting something in return."

"What do you mean? Father helps people all the time and never asks for anything."

"Yes, but most people aren't like your father. Most people, even good ones, expect to be compensated for their efforts in some way. And believe you me, this Brando character, whatever he is, is no exception."

"Okay… but then what does he want?"

"That I don't know. But until we figure that out, I believe it would be in everyone's best interests if we were all a bit more wary of our mysterious benefactor."

"I don't know, Uncle. I think you're just getting all worked up over nothing."

" _Hmm_ … Maybe. But on the off chance I'm right, I want you to promise me something. I want you to promise me that if things turn ugly you'll stay close to me so I can protect you. Can you do that for me, Solaris?"

"Well… alright, Uncle. I promise. But I still think…."

But before the young swordsman could complete his sentence, the air was suddenly shattered by the sound of a tremendous explosion.

"Oh, good grief." Said Lord Mildrew in an odd blend of fear and exasperation. "What now?"

XXX

( _Across the camp, several minutes later_ )

With incredible speed for a man his size, Lord Mildrew hurried across the camp with his young nephew following close behind.

A large crowd had formed on the field's southern end and as he attempted to navigate his way through it, the portly nobleman caught fragments of several rather unsettling conversations.

" _Ah-Ha-Ha!_ Did you see that bitch bounce when Master Hanzo clocked her in midair? _Priceless_!"

"Yes, Master Hanzo is most impressive. And his MacArthur Park is almost godlike. With that Stand we can at last resurrect our ancient forests."

"Hanzo's cool, but my main man Bright-Eyes is the real deal. Did you see what he did with Barracuda? Man, I ain't never seen icicles move that fast."

"Lady Alice's Stand is most intriguing."

"Indeed. White Rabbit is not a force to be taken lightly. Though its effects are most… bizarre."

" _Pfft._ Whatever, man. We all know Buff Frog is the real OG. I mean, did you see the way he was movin'? It looked like time was standin' still?"

"Quite so. I dare say News of the World could give even Omnitraxus a run for his money."

"A Stand that can outdo even the God of Space Time. Queen Moon better watch out. _Heh-Heh_."

And so on and so forth in the manner.

Before long, Lord Mildrew finally reached the center of the unruly mob, where he found the four subjects of conversation, Hanzo, Bright-Eyes, Alice and Buff Frog, along with one other.

To his great astonishment, he saw the legendary defender of Mewni herself, Mina Loveberry, standing beside the Monsters. Only something wasn't quite right. She appeared to be punching the air, but her fists kept hitting something solid. And her mouth was moving, but no sound was coming out. It was very peculiar; even by Mina's standards.

"Ah, Lord Mildrew." Said Alice almost indifferently. "So glad you could make it. We were just wrapping things up."

"Um… yes… well, I do apologize for my late arrival, but eh…what exactly am I looking at right now?" the nobleman asked confusedly.

"What do you think it is, fool." Hanzo answered sharply. "We were in the middle of a routine training exercise when this raving lunatic attacked us out of nowhere."

"Oh dear, was anyone hurt?"

" _Heh_. Of course not." The scared ape-man said smugly. "The fool charged in expecting a slaughter. But she was ill prepared to deal with a group of Stand Users as powerful as we. _Heh-Heh-Heh._ You should have seen the look on her face when MacArthur Park swatted her out of the sky. _Priceless_."

"Oy, it was a right proper brawl, that's for true." Bright-Eyes chimed in with his usual good-natured demeanor. "She gave us quite the run for our money, she did. But thanks to ol' Boo Fly over there, now we got her contained."

"Boo Fly?"

"Yes, he is right over there." Buff Frog spoke up, while pointing to a smallish, insect like Monster hovering nearby. "His Stand, Hip-2-B-Square, is like see-through cube of that can trap anything. Virtually indestructible. And apparently soundproof. Very useful."

"So it would seem. But… what do you plan to do to with her now?"

"Well, I can't speak for everyone else, but I think cutting out her tongue might be a good place to start." Hanzo said, in a tone that sent shivers down Mildrew's spine. "And after that… who knows?"

"Yes, well… before we do anything too… draconian, how about we try talking to her first." The Mewman lord reasoned, before shirting his focus. "Excuse me, Mr. Boo Fly? Do you think you could turn off the noise cancelation without shutting down the barrier?"

"Um… I'm not zzzsure." The insectoid answered with a slight buzz in his voice. "But I can try. Hold on."

A few moments of intense concentration later and Boo Fly managed to pull it off.

Now they could hear what their captive was saying.

"…con-flabbin', salt-lickin', skull duggers! Stop ignoring me!"

" _Ahem_!" Mildrew cleared his throat, instantly gaining her attention. "Miss Loveberry, a pleasure to see you, as always."

"Who in the bling-bloo-blazes are you supposed to be?"

"I am Lord Mildrew, heir to the…"

"Oh wait, now I remember you. You're that sissy crybaby Queen Moon dumped because you weren't manly enough for her. How you been? Wow, you got fat."

"Yes, well… be that as it may, I regret that I must inform you that you are in direct violation of the Mewnian Constitution. As it states in Article 12, Section 8, Subsection 9, Paragraph 4, 'No members of any officially recognized Mewnian Military Forces may invade, occupy, or otherwise enter with hostile intent the designated territory of Mewnian Nobility, unless they are given express written permission from said nobility or a direct order by the Queen'. And since it is highly unlikely that you have either, I would be well within my rights as a nobleman to report this transgression to the proper authorities."

"Blah, Blah, Blah, Big Words, _Blah_!" Mina replied, childishly. "I don't have time for your sorcerer's tricks, Melbin. Incase you haven't noticed, this valley's been invaded by Monsters! And it's my duty to stop them!"

"Well, that's very noble of you, Miss Loveberry. But I'm afraid it's not necessary. You see, there is no invasion. These Monsters are here as guests of Sir Atlas Whimsy, the Baronet of this valley. So you're services will not be required. Good day."

"What? But they attacked me!"

"From what I gather, you were the one who attacked them. They were merely defending themselves."

"That sounds like traitor talk to me."

"I beg your pardon?"

"Yeah… I see how it is. Ol' Queenie Moon gives you the heave ho, so you give the ol' one-two-buckle-my-shoe to these freaks to plot your revenge! So obvious!"

"What? _Ugh_ , never mind. Look, I wasn't going to bring this up, but you were placed on indefinite suspension by Her Majesty because of your _irrational behavior_. Which means you are currently not affiliated with the Mewnian Military and as such I could have you arrested for trespassing and high treason."

"Treason? Me? _HA_! That's a hot one. Everyone knows I'm Mewni's greatest hero. The people love me."

"No, we don't!" shouted one of the Mewmans in the crowd. "And you're no hero either! You're nothing but a menace!"

"Yeah!"

"Screw you!"

"Fascist!"

"Somebody find some rope and a strong tree!"

"Whoa, Whoa, Whoa, Whoa, Whoa!" Mina cut in, sounding both confused and aggravated. "What's with all this negative chit-chat-yak-yak-flim-flam? Don't you know who I am? I'm Mina Loveberry. Defender of Mewni! It's my job to protect you slobs!"

"Oh yeah?" said another Mewman in the crowd. "Who were you protecting when you had your goons torch my father's barn?"

"Or when you threw my only mule at a low flying duck!"

"Or when you marched my brother and his entire platoon straight off a cliff!"

"My son is dead because of you, you f***ing lunatic!"

Clearly, this lack of support amongst the commoners was news to Ms. Loveberry; as evidenced by her almost childlike look of rejection. Unfortunately, this look was soon replaced by one of pure, primal rage.

"Why you ungrateful little goo-gahs! When I get outta here I'm gonna rip all your heads off! Traitors! Traitors everywhere!"

"Everyone, please!" Lord Mildrew spoke up, in a desperate attempt to regain control. "Let's not lose our heads."

"You heard, Lord Mildrew! Let's cut off her head!"

"Hang her!"

"Stone her!"

"Cut out her tongue!"

"People, please!"

" ** _SILENCE!_** " roared an all too familiar voice that echoed in the minds of everyone in the area; causing all of them to instantly button their lips.

From out of the crowd stepped King Brando, with a smile on his lips and his beloved crow, Mr. Jones, on his shoulder. Almost immediately, everyone in attendance, both Monster and Mewman, dropped to their knees and kneeled before the Hobyah King.

Everyone that is, except for Mina and Mildrew.

"What seems to be the problem here, Mildrew?" asked the goblin faced man in a high squeaky voice.

"There's no problem here, Your Majesty. Just a simple misunderstanding. This woman thought the Monsters were invading, and I was just explaining to her that…"

"Stop talking." The Hobyah King said in a casual yet commanding tone. "You're services are no longer needed, Mildrew. Go away."

"But, I…"

"I said, go away." Brando repeated, a little sterner this time.

Not wanting to argue with the strange creature, Lord Mildrew obeyed and allowed him to get closer to their unruly captive.

"Oh my, such an unusual specimen. Don't you think so, Mr. Jones?" he said to his pet bird, as if it were a real person.

" _KAAAW! KAAAAAW!_ "

"Yes, I quite agree. She will be very useful to us. Very useful indeed."

"Um, excuse." Mina spoke up confusedly. "I don't mean to be rude, but what in the hoo-ha-hell are you?"

"Young lady, I am the leader of these Monsters. And if you want to stop us from overthrowing the royal family, you had better kill me right now." The aged creature said teasingly, before looking over to Boo Fly. "Mr. Boo Fly, please drop the barrier."

"Uh… what?"

"You heard me, drop the barrier now."

"Um… okay. If you're zzzzsure."

And just like that, the barrier was gone.

And Mina was ready for action.

"Big mistake." She declared boldly as she transformed into her beastly battle form. "Now you're gonna get it!"

Without any further warning, the hulking brute threw a devastating punch straight at the Hobyah King's face. But just before her fist could make contact…

"Stop."

Her entire body froze.

"Whuh-Wha-What the hay?" Mina asked with both shock and alarm. "What did you do to me?"

"Stand up straight."

Without hesitation, the beastly Mewman obeyed.

"What's going on? Why am I doing this?"

"Power down."

Mina instantly reverted to her normal form.

"Hey! Cut it out! Stop making me do things!"

"Now, look me in the eyes, you babbling imbecile."

Against her will, the mighty Mewman warrior did as she was told. And once they were staring into each other's eyes, the Hobyah King began to chant.

" _Hobyah~ Hobyah~ Hobyah~_ "

"Hey, what are you doing? Cut that out!"

" _Hobyah~ Hobyah~ Hobyah~_ "

"Stop it! _Stop it!_ Leave my brain alone!"

" _Hobyah~ Hobyah~ Hobyah~_ "

"No! Please! _Mommy!_ "

" ** _TEAR DOWN THE HEMPSTALKS!_** "

Suddenly, Mina let out a bloodcurdling shriek as her head started flailing wildly. This nightmarish scene continued for about a minute or so, before she finally ceased her thrashing and let her head slump forward.

Naturally, Mildrew was deeply disturbed by what he'd just witnessed; even more so by the blankness in Mina's eyes and the trail of drool running down her chin.

"What… what did you do to her?" he asked, sounding completely horrified.

"Nothing much." King Brando answered. "I just shattered her mind."

"You _what_?"

"You heard me. Everything that was once Mina Loveberry is now gone. All that remains is an empty shell. A soulless little doll who will obey my every command. She'll be much more useful to us this way."

"But… how? How could you do that to her?"

"These aren't kid gloves, Mildrew. If you want to change the world, you must be willing to get your hands dirty." King Brando replied, before turning away from the Mewman Lord. "Come along, Mina. I have much to teach you."

And with that, the Hobyah King and his zombified slave disappeared into the crowd.

Naturally, Lord Mildrew was completely speechless. What he'd just witnessed was like something from a nightmare.

Suddenly, he felt someone grab his left arm.

He looked down and saw that it was his young nephew, Solaris; his face a portrait of pure terror.

He remembered their conversation from earlier and understood.

Things just turned ugly.

End Notes:

"Wow, and Ms. Heinous thinks she's all that."

Thanks for reading.

Peace.


	8. Chapter 7

Sorry this took so long. I kept getting distracting by a new Disney cartoon from the Philippines. As always, Star vs the Forces of Evil is owned by Disney and Stands are the creation of the brilliant and talented Hirohiko Araki. Enjoy.

1-Up Girl: Chapter 7.

( _Back at the arcade_ )

" ** _RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAK!_** " cried the gigantic space squid as its sixth eye suddenly burst into flames.

Six down, one to go.

From the cockpit of her X-Wing Astro-Blaster, Annie adjusted her targeting computer and set her sights on the beast's final weak spot. She knew she had to act fast, because she knew the creature would only stay paralyzed for a few more seconds. After that, it would start flailing its tentacles around and start spitting fireballs. And with her health bar already at 15%, she knew that there was no margin for error.

So, without even the slightest hesitation, the young otaku switched her selected weapon from Scattershot to Big Baby and just let it fly.

Annie had been playing this game for almost eleven minutes and in that time she'd made sure to test the strengths and weaknesses of every weapon her ship had. Scattershot Missiles were the most reliable, almost never missed their target, but they did the least amount of damage. Big Baby Bombs did the most damage, but their accuracy was terrible, so they were basically useless against a moving target. However, with the space squid momentarily immobilized, now was the best, and probably only, time to take this bad boy out once and for all.

 _BOOOOOOM!_

" ** _RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAK!_** " cried the great beast as its final eye burst into flames.

Moments later, the vile cephalopod exploded and an unseen announcer declared her the winner.

Annie was quite pleased with herself.

But before she had the chance to really enjoy it, the world was suddenly enveloped by a familiar flash of white light. Moments later, she found herself back at Ringo's tower. Britney was standing beside her, looking uncharacteristically impressed. The others were still up in their cages, cheering in celebration of her victory. And their captor, unsurprisingly, was fuming like a spoiled child.

"Congratulations, Annie." The evil jinn said derisively. "You've successfully beaten Astro Blaster. Arguably one of the easiest minigames in the Shooter Category, and on Level 7 no less. Wow, you must be _soooooo_ proud."

"Shove a cork in it, dumbass." Britney shot back cuttingly. "You're not intimidating anybody. So just free one of your captives and shut up."

"Why you arrogant little… **_GAH_**!" Ringo roared furiously. "Do you have _any_ idea who I am? What I've done? What I'm capable of?"

"Yes. You're an antisocial loser who hides out in videogame worlds because you can't relate to real people. And since you can't relate to real people, you kidnap and murder them so you can feel superior. And aside from playing video games, I don't think you're _capable_ of much."

"You smug little **_bitch_**!" the emerald jinn exploded, sounding almost like a rabid animal. "I am the **_God_** of this reality! With just a thought, I could turn you into a pillar of salt! I could replace your blood with acid or your bones with napalm! I could rain fire down from the heavens!"

"Then do it." The head cheerleader said tauntingly; irking her captor even further.

For a brief moment, Ringo looked like he was about to pounce on her and tear her limb from limb. But at the last second he pulled back, snorted, and snapped his fingers.

Moments later, one of the cages vanished in a puff of smoke and Jackie appeared on the ground beside them.

"Next game." The evil jinn said bitingly, before turning away from them all.

While their captor was busy fiddling with his infernal slot machine, the girls took this opportunity to talk amongst themselves.

"Jackie, are you okay?" Annie asked her friend worriedly.

"Yeah, I'm good." Jackie replied, attempting to sound calm, before shifting her focus onto Britney. "But _you_ won't be if you keep running your mouth like that. Seriously, Britney, what the hell is wrong with you? This guy's dangerous!"

"Not as dangerous as you think." The head cheerleader replied smugly.

"Huh?"

"Didn't you see what just happened? That big green doofus wanted to kill me. I could see it in his eyes. And yet he didn't even lay a hand on me. Why do you think that is?"

"Um… because he was showing restraint." Annie guessed.

" _Restraint_? **_HA_**! What cartoon genie have you been watching, Lightfoot? This moron doesn't have any restraint. He's like an overgrown child. He's emotionally unstable and he has no regard for human life. The only reason that freak didn't rip my lungs out is because something was holding him back. I think the reason he didn't kill me is because he can't."

"What?" the two girls said in unison.

"Think about it. Remember when Ferguson made him angry with all his stupid comments? He shook his cage like a soda can. But twice now I've pissed him off and he hasn't even touched me. In fact, for all his talk of having godlike power, he's barely done anything. If you ask me, I don't think he's nearly as powerful as he says he is."

Suddenly, Annie remembered something that Jefferson had said during one of their first training sessions.

 _Here's a few fun facts about life, kiddies. The universe is a dick. It likes things a certain way and it doesn't give a damn about other people's opinions. And most importantly, it's obsessed with keeping things balanced. That's why all Stands come with their own unique set of weaknesses and limitations. That way, if anyone ever gets too big for their britches, the universe has the perfect way to kick them in the stomach and remind them just how weak they really are._

Jefferson had been drunk when he gave this lecture, so things got a little… weird from there.

But that aside, it did explain quite a bit.

For all his boasting, Ringo was just another Stand User. And as such, his power came with limitations. Perhaps one of those limitations was not being able to interact directly with anything he didn't create? But if that was the case, then why not try to strangle Britney with her clothes? He created these ridiculous Arabian getups, surely he must be able to manipulate them. So why didn't he?

Unless…

What was it Ringo said before?

 _Whereas the rest of you are merely the scoreboard._

 _Gasp_! That's it!

"He can't break the rules." Annie said aloud; completely by accident.

"What?" asked the other girls confusedly.

"He can't break the rules." The young otaku repeated, this time sounding a bit more sure of herself. "Don't you remember what he said before? He said you guys were the scoreboard. This whole world is just a videogame and in videogames the characters can't interact with the scoreboard. They can't take away points that a player's already earned. That's why he didn't attack you, Britney. His Stand is bound by the laws of whatever videogame it brings to life."

" _Hmmm_ … Interesting." Britney said with a sinister sort of smile. "So that means, aside from cheating on that stupid slot machine, he can't do anything that his character couldn't do in the game. Good thinking, Lightfoot."

"Thanks. But I don't think it really helps us."

"Actually, I think it does." Jackie interjected, sporting the same kind of grin as Britney. "Ringo might be bound to the laws of the game, but you're not."

Unfortunately, before the young skateboarder could elaborate on this, their captor suddenly cut in.

" _Game Time~ Game Time~ Game Time~_ " he sang out manically as he gestured towards his infernal slot machine. "Category: Fighting! Game: Sumo Smackdown! Difficulty: 10! Okay! Now, everybody say the magic words! **_HAIL 2 U!_** "

And like all the other times before, the world was suddenly enveloped by a blinding white light.

This time however, when the light faded, Annie found herself standing on the edge of a large sand circle sitting atop a raised platform in the center of a massive Japanese styled arena. Thanks to her years of reading manga, the young otaku recognized it instantly as a dohyo; that's a sumo ring to you laymen. Jackie and Britney sat in the stands while the other captives were still up in their cages. As usual, Ringo was hovering above them all; somehow looking even more deranged than usual.

"Welcome, everyone, to Sumo Smackdown!" the evil jinn announced in a loud, booming voice. "The rules are simple. Just push your opponent out of the ring. No health bars. No time limit. Any questions?"

"Um… yeah, where's my opponent?" Annie asked confusedly.

"Oh, right. Where is my head today? He's right… **_here_**!"

With a snap of his fingers and a large puff of smoke, a massive figure appeared on the opposite side of the ring. He was at least fifteen feet tall, with lime green skin and a small tuft of jet black hair tied into a ponytail. His body was somehow muscular and squat at the same time; arms like oak trees and a fat, bulbous gut with the character for demon tattooed in dark red. He had yellow, pupil-less eyes, large pointed ears, and a big dopey smile that stretched all the way across his fat face. Overall, his form reminded her of a minor antagonist from a late 80s historical fiction manga she'd read back in the 8th Grade, but given her current situation, that was neither here nor there.

"I'm supposed to fight **_that_**?" the young otaku asked frightenedly.

"No, you're _supposed_ to push him out of the ring." Ringo answered tauntingly. "But given that this game's difficulty has been set to the highest possible level, I don't think that's very likely."

At this, Annie could only _Gulp_ in response.

"Hey, Lightfoot!" Britney called out from the stands. "Throw the match!"

"What?"

"You heard me! Just step outside the ring and end the game right now!"

"Are you nuts?"

"Far from it! Look, you only need to win two more games to move on to the boss battle, but if that thing hurts you, you're gonna be at a major disadvantage! So just throw the match and crush this chump in the next one!"

Annie had to admit that there was some logic to what Britney was saying. Even a minor injury could cost her dearly later on. Forfeiting the match was probably her safest bet.

But on the other hand, that could be exactly what Ringo had in mind. It would give him an easy win and push them that much closer to certain death. And who's to say he might not select an even tougher game for the next round.

No, playing conservatively would only get them all killed.

She had to play to win.

The only question was how.

That's when she remembered Jackie's words from earlier.

 _Ringo might be bound to the laws of the game, but you're not_.

That's when she got an idea.

An incredibly dangerous and stupid idea, but an idea nonetheless.

So, ignoring the shouts of protest from the stands, Annie stepped forward into the center of the ring.

Ringo smirked amusedly before he called out,

" ** _Begin_**!"

The hulking monster wasted no time in attacking; attempting to squash the young otaku with its massive hands.

Fortunately, Annie was able to dodge this with a simple sidestep.

The beast was big, but not very coordinated.

She could use this to her advantage.

The creature then unleashed a flurry of violent palm thrusts. All of which she was able to dodge, but only by the skin of her teeth.

This thing was fast.

Too fast.

If her plan was going to work, she was going to have to act fast. So, without any further delay, the young otaku rushed forward and, for lack of a better word, _hugged_ the creature's bloated belly.

Unfazed by this strange new development, the monster started pushing the young girl towards the edge of the ring.

Wasting no time, Annie closed her eyes and began focusing her aura into her muscular system. It was just like back at the clearing. She could feel every sinew in her body tighten. She could feel herself growing stronger.

Just before she reached the edge, the young otaku managed to plant her feet firmly in the sand and stop the hulking brute in its tracks.

Then, using her new aura enhanced strength, Annie used what little leverage she could get and lifted the monster right off the ground.

After a minute or so of struggling, she managed to lift her opponent above her head, and with one final grunt of exertion, she threw the great behemoth across the ring and into the stands beyond with the force of a wrecking ball.

Needless to say, Annie was exhausted. The creature had been much heavier than any of the rocks Jefferson had made her lift. So, naturally, the overlay had taken a much greater toll on her body this time.

Her muscles were aching, her chest was burning, and her face was drenched in sweat.

And yet, somehow, the young otaku couldn't shake the overwhelming sense of pride she felt for her accomplishment.

So, with an almost arrogant smirk, she looked Ringo right in his wide-eyed, jaw dropped, blood drained face and boldly declared.

"I win."

End Notes:

Thanks for reading.

I'll see you next time.

Peace.


	9. Chapter 8

Hello, and welcome to the next chapter of 1-Up Girl. As always, Star vs the Forces of Evil is owned by Disney and Stands are the creation of the brilliant and talented Hirohiko Araki. Blah. Blah. Blah. Blah. Enjoy.

1-Up Girl: Chapter 8.

( _Right where we left off_ )

After yet another blinding flash of light, Annie found herself back at Ringo's tower.

And although she was still weakened from the effects of her overlay, the young otaku stood tall.

And how could she not?

She'd just taken on a foe at least ten times her size and come out unscathed; more or less.

But more importantly than that, she'd secured the freedom of yet another captive and brought them one step closer to ending this nightmarish ordeal once and for all.

Just one more win and then she could take on the boss.

" ** _YOU!_** " roared their captor suddenly; shaking Annie back to reality. "You cheated! I don't know how, but there's no way you could've lifted that sumo demon without doing something hinky!"

"Like you're one to talk." The young otaku shot back defiantly. "You've been rigging that stupid slot machine of yours since game one. All I did was overlay my muscles to give me a little boost. If you ask me, I'd say this makes us even."

"Over what now?"

" _Overlay_. You know, when you channel your aura into…" Annie paused for a moment as a cheeky grin spread across her face. "Wait… are you seriously telling me that you've never heard of overlaying? _You_? Mr. Big Tough Look At Me I Think I'm A God Because I'm Sort Of Good At Playing Videogames? _Unbelievable._ "

"Yeah… well… **_shut up_**!" the emerald jinn said childishly. "So what if I never heard of this over latch thing! Sounds made up anyway!"

"Oh, I assure you. _Overlaying_ is quite real." Jackie chimed in with a hint of mischief in her voice. "It's an advanced skill that only experienced Stand Users can master. And fortunately for us, Annie and I have the privilege of studying under one of the great masters of this field. The wise and benevolent, Mr. Jefferson Speedwagon himself."

At this, their captor let out a snide chuckle.

" _Jefferson_? You mean that drunk old bounder you guys are always with?" the emerald jinn asked mockingly. " ** _HA_**! That's a good one."

"Oh, like you're one to judge!" Annie shot back hotly.

"Indeed." Jackie added on coolly. "Our teacher may have his… _demons_ , but he's still more respectable than you'll ever be. Because unlike you, he cares about other people."

"Oh, is that a fact?" Ringo replied amusedly. "Well, let me tell you something, Missy. Your so-called _respectable_ teacher is anything but. Do you wanna know what I learned about him while I was profiling you guys? There are over six hundred warrants out for his arrest, on five continents, under nineteen aliases. And almost all of them are either for petty larceny or public intoxication. Of course, this was all after 1994, when he was declared legally dead. Before that, he and a bunch of his pals were under federal investigation because they were suspected of smuggling cocaine into the US from South America. Still think your precious Jefferson is so _wise_ and _benevolent_?"

At first, Annie didn't know how to respond to this. As much as she didn't want to admit it, her captor's words didn't paint a very pretty picture of her beloved teacher.

Fortunately, Britany was able to save the day yet again, with her razor sharp wit and utter lack of tact.

"Ah, shut up." The head cheerleader said bluntly. "I don't know anything about any guy named Jefferson, but anything you've got to say about him is probably all bunk. Just a bunch of random garbage you got off the internet, written by bigger liars than you."

Suddenly, Ringo's smirk turned into a scowl.

"Yes, I agree with Britany." Jackie chimed in. "You can't always trust the information you find on the internet. Even if what you say about Jefferson is accurate, it's probably only half true. I find that things are rarely as cut and dry as they appear. Same goes for people. I mean, for all your talk of being an 'expert profiler' your research never turned up anything about Annie's skills with a bat. And for someone who's been watching our training sessions in the park through a webcam, you seemed awfully surprised by her overlaying. Are there really any webcams or was that just a story you made up to freak us out?"

"There are so webcams!" the emerald jinn replied defensively. "I just… don't always watch them as closely as I should. Sometimes I get a little distracted."

"You're not very bright, are you?"

"Why you little… **_SHUT UP_**!"

"Oh, shut up yourself, you big baby." Britany cut in yet again. "And quit stalling. Lightfoot won the last game, so you have to release another prisoner. Those are the rules."

"Yeah… well… No! No, I refuse!" Ringo said childishly. "She cheated! She was supposed to push her opponent out of the ring, not throw him out!"

"Doesn't matter." The young cheerleader replied bluntly. "Lightfoot still won and you still have to let someone go. That's how the game works. You have no choice."

As expected, their captor did not take Britney's comments very well. In fact, he looked like he was about ready to wring her neck. However, much like all the other times before, he just scowled and snapped his fingers. Moments later, Ferguson appeared on the ground beside the girls. And with one final huff, the emerald jinn turned away from them all and said,

"Next Game!"

While Ringo was busy cooking up another ploy, Annie was busy chatting it up with her fellow captives.

"Are you okay, Ferguson?" the young otaku asked the hefty ginger concernedly.

"Yeah, I'm good." He replied while attempting to soothe his still aching nose. "You know, those were some pretty slick moves you had out there, StarFa-Uh… I mean, Annie. Seriously, how did you lift that monstrosity? It must've been like half a ton."

"Oh, you know, it's just a skill I've been practicing. No big deal." Annie answered, attempting to sound nonchalant despite her burning cheeks.

"No big deal? Are you kidding me? You were amazing out there! You were like a superhero!"

"R-R-Really?"

"Totally! I felt like I was in a comic book! I had to pinch myself just to- _UMMPH_!"

Despite the positive nature of Ferguson's accolades, Annie was quite relieved when Jackie stepped in and put her hand over his mouth. She wasn't really used to getting this much attention and to be honest, it was a little embarrassing.

"I think what Ferguson is trying to say is that we're all proud of you." Jackie said warmly, before switching to a slightly more serious tone. "That being said, I don't think you should try overlaying again."

"Why the hell not?" asked Britany harshly. "With that much power she could plow through the rest of these stupid challenges in no time. And more importantly, we could all get the hell out of here with our lives."

"Maybe so, but it's still too risky." The young skateboarder explained. "Overlaying works by channeling all of your aura, your spiritual power, into one specific part of your body. But if it's done incorrectly or held for too long it can do some serious damage. Annie could tear one of her muscles or short circuit her nerves. Heck, her aura could even stop her heart. No, it's just too dangerous."

" _Hmmm_ , good point." The head cheerleader replied. "Better not use it again, Lightfoot. Last thing we need is you flatlining in the middle of a game."

"Oh, um, okay. But what if he puts me in another Fighting Game?"

"That probably won't happen." Jackie reasoned. "He didn't seem to know anything about overlaying, so he probably doesn't know about the drawbacks. Odds are he thinks you can do that whenever you want, so he'll most likely avoid any type of physical challenges from now on. He'll try to outsmart you, and that's why he'll fail. You're just too clever."

Yet again, Annie found herself blushing profusely.

Honestly, she wasn't quite sure how to process all of this. In the span of little over an hour, her position in the social pecking order had been completely turned upside down. Suddenly, everyone was looking to her like she was some kind of superhero. Telling her how great and amazing she was. Heck, even Britany was being nice to her; sort of.

It was all so strange and alien to her. But kind of nice at the same time. Why, if it weren't for the homicidal maniac holding them captive in a videogame dimension, she might've even called it fun.

" _Game Time~ Game Time~ Game Time~_ "

Ah yes, speak of the devil.

"Time for Round 4, kiddies!" said Ringo, sounding just as manic and deranged as ever. "Category: Other! Game: Brain Drain! Difficulty: 9! Now everybody, say the magic words! **_HAIL 2 U_**!"

And just like that, Annie was blinded once again.

When the light faded, the young otaku found herself behind a podium on what appeared to be a late 80s gameshow set. Naturally, her fellow captives were either out in the audience or up in their cages. But strangely enough, their captor was standing behind an identical podium right beside her; looking more like a contestant than a host.

"Hello everybody~ And welcome to Brain Drain! The game where knowledge is rewarded and ignorance is punished, **_severely_**." The emerald jinn said threateningly, before switching to a more casual tone. "Nah, just kidding. But seriously though, here are the rules. It's basically just a trivia contest. That big screen up there will ask us fifteen multiple choice questions, covering a wide variety of topics, which we answer by hitting the buzzers on our podiums. Whoever gets the most right out of fifteen wins. Any questions?"

"Um… yes. Shouldn't you be the one asking the questions?" Annie asked confusedly.

"Oh, I'm sorry. Did I forget to mention? There are a few special minigames in which the player competes against the main villain, Le Jinn, directly. This just happens to be one of them. No big deal. So, are you ready to play or what?"

Needless to say, the young otaku was very suspicious. Why would Ringo choose a game where he had to compete against her directly? And why a trivia contest of all things?

Oh well, even if there was some kind of trick to this, Annie was confident in her academic abilities. Her grades were mostly As and Bs. Her only C was in Home Ec and that was only because she couldn't sew. If any of the questions were about Science, Math, History, Sports Statistics or Anime, she was certain she could get them right, or at the very least make an educated guess.

"Okay, let's do this." She said confidently.

"Alrighty then! Let's get this party started!"

And with a snap of his emerald fingers, the giant screen suddenly sprang to life.

Like a true gameshow professional, Annie readied herself for the first question; positioning her hand just above her buzzer to ensure a quick response once the question was finished loading.

 **Question 1: In 1215…**

 _BZZZZZZZ!_

"The answer is C: The Magna Carta." Ringo said, almost smugly.

 _Ding! Ding! Ding!_

 **Correct!**

The counter on his podium suddenly changed from 0 to 1.

'What the heck?' Annie thought to herself confusedly. 'He didn't even wait for the question.'

Quickly dismissing it as dumb luck, the young otaku shook off her confusion and readied herself for the next question.

 **Question 2: In chemistry, -273…**

 _BZZZZZ!_

"A: Absolute Zero."

 _Ding! Ding! Ding!_

 **Correct!**

And just like before, Ringo's score went from 1 to 2.

'What the heck? It happened again.'

Okay, now she was sure he was cheating.

The only problem was she didn't know how.

So the only thing she could do was keep playing and hope for a miracle.

But unfortunately, no such thing occurred.

Every time, the result was the same.

 _BZZZZZZZ!_

"D: Richard the Third."

 **Correct!**

 _BZZZZZZ!_

"B: Halley's Comet."

 **Correct!**

 _BZZZZ!_

"A: 42."

 **Correct!**

 _BZZZZZZ!_

"C: Benjamin Disraeli."

 **Correct!**

 _BZZZZZZ!_

"B: Abattoir."

 **Correct**!

 _BZZZZZZZZ!_

"A: Journey to the West."

 **Correct!**

 _Ding! Ding! Ding! Ding! Ding! Ding! Ding! Ding! Ding! Ding! Ding! Ding! Ding! Ding! Ding!_

 **Game Over! Player 1 Loses!**

Before she even knew what had happened, Ringo had racked up a commanding leader. And with the score already 8 to 0, the game automatically declared it a loss.

Needless to say, Annie was dumbfounded, and a little annoyed.

And her irritation only multiplied when her captor looked over at her with an arrogant smirk and said,

"Who's stupid now, bitch?"

End Notes:

Thanks for reading everybody.

See you next time.

Peace.


	10. Chapter 9

Hello, and welcome to Chapter 9. Not much to say, so let's just get started. Star vs the Forces of Evil is owned by Disney and Stands are the creation of the brilliant and talented Hirohiko Araki. Yadda. Yadda. Yadda. Enjoy.

1-Up Girl: Chapter 9.

( _Right where we left off_ )

In another brilliant flash, Annie and the others found themselves back at Ringo's tower.

Unfortunately, this time they were returning not in triumph, but in defeat.

Somehow, through means the young otaku just couldn't figure out, their captive had cheated his way to victory in the last game. So instead of celebrating the release of another one of her classmates, she was forced to stand there and listen to the smug jackass gloat like… well, like a jackass.

" _AAAH-HA-HA-HA-_ _ **HA**_!" he laughed in self-congratulation. "YES! **_YES_**! I am the **_King_**! In your face you scrawny little four eyed runt! _AAAAAAAH-HA-HA-_ _ **HA**_! God damn it! I love myself!"

Suddenly, being dipped in lava didn't sound quite so bad.

"I don't know what the hell you're so proud of." Ferguson chimed in bluntly. "I mean, it's not like you really knew the answers. You obviously just memorized them. Anyone could do that. Hell, a monkey could do that."

"Oh, is that a fact?" Ringo replied annoyedly. "Well, let me tell you something, fat boy. There are exactly 127 possible questions in the Brain Drain minigame. All of them multiple choice and all of them subject to a complex mathematical algorithm that makes it impossible to predict which questions will be asked and in what order. And yet I, through years of intense trial and error, have flawlessly committed to memory every single question and answer in this game. And can now recall any one of them just by reading the first few words. Now tell me, could a monkey do that?"

"You have no idea what an algorithm is, do you?"

" ** _GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR_**!"

"Wait, 127? That's such a random number." Brittney commented offhandedly.

"I know, it's weird, right?" Jackie chimed in. "And really, in all the time you spent memorizing those answers, you could've gone out and made some friends. Or at the very least done something constructive, like write your own novel or start a stamp collection."

"Do people really do that?" asked Ferguson confusedly. "I always thought stamp collecting was just something you see in movies."

"No, it's real. I fact, there's a whole museum about it up in Burbank."

"A museum about stamps? Is it like an actual museum or is it just run out of somebody's house?"

"No, it's like a real museum. I'm pretty sure it's owned by the city."

"Huh… I know this is gonna sound insane, but I kinda wanna go there now. You know, just to see how it's all set up. See if there's a giftshop. You know some museums have their own little cafes build right into…"

"Oh my **_GOD_**! Will you all just **_SHUT UP_**!" Ringo roared in frustration. "What is the matter with you people? How can you all just stand there having this stupid conversation while I'm plotting to kill you? **_Why aren't you a afraid of me_**?"

"Because you're not scary. You're just annoying." Brittney replied sharply. "And honestly, ever since that moron Star showed up, we've kind of been desensitized to paranormal weirdness."

"Granted. But I'm a notorious serial killer with the power to create entire universes using just my mind. So you can see how this might be a little different!"

"Well… you're not so much created your own universes." Annie chimed in unexpectedly. "It's more like you're just copying other peoples' ideas and bringing them to life. I mean, aside from cheating, you don't seem to have very many ideas of your own."

At this, Ringo just ground his teeth in frustration. He looked like he wanted to turn the young otaku inside out. But like all the other times before, he just turned away and said,

" _NEXT GAME_!"

With their captor otherwise occupied, the girls plus Ferguson were once again free to chat amongst themselves. And as usual, it was Brittney who broke the ice.

" _Heh-Heh-Heh-Heh_. Nice work, Lightfoot." She said amusedly. "That freak looked like he was about to pop a blood vessel."

"I wasn't trying to make him angry. I was just telling the truth." Annie replied nervously.

"Yeah, well whatever you were doing, it was funny. And more importantly, it gave me an idea on how we can end this nightmare."

"What are you talking about?" Jackie asked confusedly.

"Didn't you hear what he said a moment ago? He said that he created this world with his mind. And if that's the case, then I'll bet it takes a lot of concentration to keep it going."

Ah, now that did make some kind of sense. After all, this pocket dimension was created by Ringo's Stand, and a Stand can't act on its own accord. A Stand requires conscious effort from the User. Brittney might just be on to something.

"Oh, I get it." Annie said, with controlled enthusiasm. "So you're saying that if we break Ringo's concentration, his Stand will dissipate and we can escape."

"Well, that's the general idea anyway."

"Okay, but how the heck are we supposed to do that?" asked Ferguson skeptically.

"That's the easy part. Ringo's basically just a big bully. And like all bullies, he feeds on the fear of others because it lets him feel in control. But if you take away that fear he loses that sense of control and his cool." The head cheerleader explained. "You see, to guys like him, the world is a big scary place full of scary people who either want to use, judge or hurt you. So they use intimidation to either keep people inline or push them away; anything to make the world seem smaller and more manageable. But if that tactic suddenly stops working, the world gets bigger again and they start to panic. And panic, as I'm sure you all know, is the enemy of concentration. See where I'm going with this?"

Annie did indeed see.

But more than that, she understood.

Suddenly, her heart ached a little for her fellow captive.

"Um… Brittney… Is that how you feel?" She asked tentatively. "Is that why you're so… um… mean all the time? Because you're scared?"

"No, I'm just naturally mean." Brittney answered in a way that was both casual and unconvincing. "And besides, we're not talking about me right now. We're talking about that floating freak."

Ever the sympathetic type, Annie still felt a slight pang for the so-called 'mean girl', but luckily Ferguson was there to keep her on track.

"Yeah, well, that all sounds like a good plan on paper, but you're forgetting one little detail." He said in a leisurely yet lecturing tone. "We've been pushing this guy's buttons since Game 1 and we're still stuck here."

"Well, maybe we just haven't been pushing the right buttons." Said Jackie as her face stretched into an almost Janna-like grin. "I've got a plan. Just wait 'til the next game starts and follow my lead."

As if on cue, the emerald jinn suddenly started calling out,

" _Game Time~ Game Time~ Game Time~_ Category: Puzzle! Game: 7 Completed! Difficulty Level: 8! Yadda, Yadda, Yadda. **_HAIL 2 U_**!"

And just like that, the world disappeared in another blinding flash.

Moments later, Annie found herself standing in what appeared to be a cartoon laboratory, before what appeared to be a large, cartoon supercomputer.

Her fellow captives were in their usual positions; either on the sidelines or in their cages. But just like last time, their captor was floating right beside her at his own computer terminal; once again looking like a contender.

"Hello, everybody. And welcome to 7 Completed!" the emerald jinn said manically. "As always, the rules are simple. In this Tetris styled puzzle game, we'll be positioning multicolored puzzle blocks that are numbered from 1 to 7. The object is to line up the blocks so that the numbers equal 7, or line up three 7s in a row. If you meet either of these criteria said blocks will disappear. If not, then the blocks will remain until either said conditions are met or the game ends. As with all games of this ilk, the blocks will steadily get faster and faster. And of course, the game ends when one of us runs out of space for more blocks. Just like last time, you'll be competing against me directly. Any questions?"

"Nope." Annie answered bluntly, eager to get started so she could see what Jackie's plan was.

"Alrighty then! Let's get this party started!"

And with that, the screens suddenly came to life and the first number blocks started to fall.

Ever the one for puzzles, the young otaku went straight to work on her screen, but while she was doing that, Jackie was putting her own plan into action.

"Oh, Ringo~" she sang tauntingly. "I know this might not be the best time, but there's something I've been wanting to ask you."

"Go ahead, ask away." The emerald jinn replied nonchalantly; not even bothering to look away from his screen. "I'm an expert at multitasking. And when it comes to playing games of this sort, my focus is all but unbreakable. Ask as many questions as you want. I'll still win."

"That's actually what I wanted to talk to you about. You seem awfully obsessed with winning."

"Of course I am. When I win, I get to throw you all into a cauldron of lava. That's my incentive."

"Yeah, you like killing people, I get that. But you could still do that even if you lose. I mean, you could always just shoot us once we're back in the real world. So really, there's no sense in getting this obsessed with beating Annie. Unless…"

"Unless _what_?" he asked annoyedly.

"Unless losing means you die instead." Brittney chimed in, finally catching on to Jackie's plan. "It's the truth, isn't it? It's not just our lives on the line, yours is too. Admit it."

At this, Ringo let out a short burst of condescending laughter; again never looking away from his screen.

"Nice try, idiots. But my Stand doesn't work that way. It's not gonna kill me if I lose."

"Have you ever lost before?" asked Ferguson, finally getting into the act.

"Of course not! I'm the world's greatest gamer! No one has ever defeated me and no one ever will!"

"Then… how do you know you won't die if you lose?" Brittney asked innocently.

"W-What?"

"You heard me. How do you know you won't die if you've never lost before? You have no frame of reference?"

"I don't _need_ a frame of reference! I know my own powers! I'm not going to die!"

"Say, how does the villain in this game die anyway?" The head cheerleader asked teasingly. "I bet it's not pretty."

"For your information, if the Player wins, Le Jinn is obliterated in a fiery explosion. But that is completely irrelevant because **_I'M NOT GOING TO DIE!_** "

"But how do you know…"

" ** _I JUST DO, OKAY_**!" the emerald jinn roared, finally turning away from his screen so he could glare at them. "I know what you're doing. You think you're so smart, don't cha? **_Don't cha_**! Well, you're wrong. **_You're wrong_**! You're not gonna get inside my head. You're not gonna make me mess up. **_No way_**! Wanna know why? Because I'm the best. **_The best_**! I'm the greatest gamer in the world. **_The world_**! And thinking about death isn't part of the game!"

"Oh, yes it is~" said an unfamiliar voice that seemed to come out of nowhere. "In fact, it's the best part."

After a moment or two of confusion, everybody, Ringo included, realized that the voice had come from one of the cages; specifically, the one belonging to Chantelle.

"Oh, come now, Ringy Dingy. Don't tell me it's never even crossed your mind." The normally silent cheerleader said in a disturbingly sinister tone. "I mean, there are just so many things to consider when you know you're going to die. Especially in such a gruesome manner."

"Weren't you listening, Thunder Thighs? I'm not gonna die!"

"But aren't you even a little bit curious?" she asked with cruel amusement. "Haven't you ever wondered what it's gonna feel like? That one split second before it happens. The moment that seems to last forever and you hope to God Almighty that it does. But then… _BOOM_."

"Shut up!"

"Oh, and when it actually happens. What's it gonna feel like when you're bones start to crack and pulverize? Or when you're muscles start ripping apart like toilet paper? Or when your organs start flying out? Or when your brain turns to jelly?"

"I said shut up!"

"And of course, you've gotta think about what comes after. If anything. Will you go to hell? Or will everything just go black?"

"Damn it! Why won't you shut up!"

"But most importantly, you gotta wonder if you're gonna scream. Oh~ I bet you're gonna scream. I can tell just by looking at you. You're a _screamer_ ~"

" ** _ENOUGH_**!" Ringo roared as he raised himself to look Chantelle right in the eye. "Listen to me, you little **_bitch_**! You can act as crazy as you want, but you're not gonna mess me up! You hear me! You're not gonna make me…"

 **Game Over! Play 1 Wins!**

" ** _WHAT_**!"

But alas, it was true.

Ringo had been so distracted by the peanut gallery that he'd forgotten all about the game.

And, as you've probably already guessed, this caused his number blocks to build up until they reached the top of his screen; instantly disqualifying him.

The emerald jinn had been beaten, yet again.

So, being the unbalanced psychopath that he was, Ringo responded to this development in the following way.

" ** _NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO_**!"

End Notes:

Thanks for reading everybody.

I'll see you next time.

Peace.


	11. Chapter 10

Star vs the Forces of Evil is owned by Disney and Stands are the creation of the brilliant and talented Hirohiko Araki. Yadda. Yadda. Yadda. Enjoy.

1-Up Girl: Chapter 10.

( _Right where we left off_ )

One flash of light later, and they were all back at the tower.

With a little help from her fellow captives, Annie had once again come out on top.

That's four wins down, now all that remained was the final boss battle and this nightmare would end.

Freedom was close at hand.

And yet, somehow, the young otaku just couldn't allow herself to feel good about it.

She'd known from the start that defeat meant death for her and her classmates, but now it was beginning to look like victory would mean death for someone else.

Granted, Ringo wasn't exactly a choir boy. In fact, he was probably the worst human being Annie had ever met. But to her, the taking of any life was unthinkable; no matter how wretched.

She wanted to live, of course, but could she really bring herself to end the life of another person?

The poor thing was so conflicted, and her captor's freak-out wasn't helping.

"No. **_No_**! This can't be happening. **_Can't be happening_**!" the emerald jinn muttered to himself like a jabbering mental patient. "I'm the best. **_The best_**! I can't lose. **_Can't lose_**! Lose and I die. I can't die! I'm the king. **_The King_**! King's don't die in rundown arcades. No, no, no, no, no, no. I can't die. Can't die. **_Can't die_**!"

This was too cruel, even for him.

Annie couldn't just sit back and watch another human being suffer.

There had to be some way out of this mess that didn't involve someone getting killed.

The only question was how.

Unfortunately, before she could ponder this any further, a puff of emerald colored smoke suddenly shook her back to reality.

Chantelle had just been released from here cage and was already mingling with her fellow captives.

" _Ugh_! My back!" the young cheerleader groaned as she attempted to fix the aching crick in her spine. "Oh man, I tell ya, sitting in that cage was a nightmare. Zero back support. And that splintery wooden floor was murder on my butt. Know what I mean?"

But instead of replying, everyone just sort of gawked at her like she'd just grown a second head.

"What? Do I have something in my teeth?" she asked innocently.

"No…" answered Brittney, sounding uncharacteristically freaked out. "But… um… how shall I put this? What the hell was that?"

"What?"

"You know what! All that stuff you were saying before. About his organs flying out and everything going black."

"I was just trying to freak him out so he'd lose. It's the same thing you guys were doing."

"Granted. But we stopped short of describing his gruesome death in such vivid detail. And why did you sound so excited while you were doing it? It sounded like you were… _getting off_."

"Well, I won't deny that I enjoyed watching him suffer a little. I mean, the man is a serial killer. It's only right that he should pay for what he's done."

"You're a little depraved, aren't you?"

" _Meh_. We've all got a dark side, Brittney. Mine's just a little inkier than most."

"Yeah… I don't wanna be friends with you anymore."

"That's fair."

"Yeah, blah, blah, blah, big paradigm shifts, blah." Ferguson cut in abruptly. "Who cares who did what or why. What matters is that Annie's just one win away from getting us all the heck out of here. You hear that, Oscar? Just one more round and we're headin' home!"

"Huh? Whuh?" went the young hipster from up in his cage. "Oh hey, man. Yeah, that sounds great."

"You know, you've been awful quiet throughout this whole ordeal. Don't tell me you've been sleeping this whole time."

"No man, I've been awake. I've just been takin' it all in, you know. Just kickin' back and watching the universe unfold before me."

"Yeah, that's super. Just don't get too comfortable up there. Cuz once Annie whoops this punk in the boss fight, we can kiss this Arabian Nightmare goodbye. Right, Annie?"

But alas, the young otaku was nowhere to be seen.

"Uh… where did Annie go?" the tubby ginger asked confusedly.

"I believe she is going to try to end this without violence." Replied Jackie calmly.

" _WHAT_?"

But sure enough, it was true. Annie was standing before the still jabbering jinn; showing no intension of striking him down.

"Oh come on, Annie!" Ferguson shouted in disgust. "Don't do this. The guy's a murderer. He deserves to die."

"Yeah, Lightfoot! Don't wuss out on us now!" Brittney added. "Just kill this freak and we can all go home!"

But of course, the young otaku paid them no mind. She had a moral obligation to at least try to resolve the situation without ending the life of another person.

To quote her favorite manga, 'it was her ninja way'.

"Um… excuse me." Annie said meekly, before quickly forcing herself to speak more firmly. "Excuse me, Mr. Ringo."

Suddenly, the emerald jinn ceased his mad ramblings and spun around to look at her; his left eye twitching all the while.

"What?" he asked harshly.

"Mr. Ringo, although you may not want to admit it, I think it's become abundantly clear that your life is in danger too. And given your current… ur… state of mind, I don't think you're in any shape to fight me in a boss battle." She replied, trying to sound as polite as possible. "But I think I know a way out of this. One where no one has to die."

"Oh really?" he asked, sounding mildly irritated. "And what might that be?"

"Well… this is all just a game, right? Then all you have to do is stop playing."

" _What_?"

"You know, just recall your Stand and end the game. Then we can all go home. And no one has to die."

"So in other words, you want me to _quit_."

"Yeah, that way nobody…"

" _You_ want _me_ to **_quit_**!" the emerald jinn repeated, his words laced with cyanide and gasoline. " ** _NEVER_**!"

"But…"

"How stupid do you think I am? I drop my Stand and you twerps 'll pounce on me! Then you'll call the cops and from there it's just a short bus ride from the courthouse to death row!"

"No! That's not what I…"

" ** _SILENCE_**! Your sorcerer's tricks won't work on me, young Moses! For this is **_my kingdom_**! And I am **_pharaoh_**!"

"What?"

"I will _never_ , I repeat **_NEVER_** , quit in the middle of a game! Not for _you_ , not for **_anyone_**! And I don't care how risky it is! I'll play and I'll beat you! **_I'LL BEAT YOU_**! Because I'm the best! **_THE BEST_**!"

"B-B-But it's just a stupid videogame. It's not worth risking your life over."

" _Stupid videogame_?" the emerald jinn repeated in what could only be described as quiet rage. "I expected as much from someone like you. I've been taking crap from your kind since I was a kid."

"My kind? What the heck are you talking about?"

"You know, people like you. People who are good at things like _sports_ or _arithmetic_. People who'd do or say anything just to make me feel small. Well, I showed them. I found something I was good at, and it blew all their precious talents right outta the water."

Suddenly, Ringo's expression softened a bit and his eyes sort of stared off into space.

Then he started to reminisce.

"I… I remember the first time I ever stepped into an arcade. I must've been like ten or eleven years old. It was so cool and dark, I remember thinking that it was just like being underwater. I used to go there everyday after school and watch the older kids play. God, I was so fascinated by the games. They were like little windows into other worlds. Worlds where people weren't bound by the pitiful laws of this reality. One day I finally plucked up the nerve and I walked up to one of the big kids. I said, 'You wanna play a game, Mister?' And you know what happened? I beat him. I _beat_ him. I beat him! **I beat him**! **_I beat him_**! **_Right on my first try_**!"

By this point, the emerald jinn was practically foaming at the mouth. So he paused for a moment to calm himself down before he continued.

"After that, the games were all I could think about. Everyday after school I'd be down at that arcade until diner. Then after high school I got myself a job there so I could play for free. I even made a deal with the owner to let me stay over after closing so I could practice. I gave my everything to the games. My time. My energy. My heart. My soul. And after three long years my efforts were rewarded. One night my Stand just… _awakened_. And for the first time in my life I felt _complete_. So, _no_ , Little Miss Baseball, I'm not going to quit. Because these games are my life. **_MY LIFE_**! So I think it is worth the risk."

Annie suddenly felt the overwhelming urge to gulp in terror.

This wasn't going nearly as well as she'd hoped. It had become disturbingly clear that Ringo wasn't going to back down. He was completely detached from any kind of rational or ethical reality, so talking to him wasn't going to do her any good.

It seemed that there was only one option left.

"Well… if that's really the way you feel, then I guess I have no choice."

"No, you really don't." the emerald jinn said smugly as the sky suddenly grew dark and ominous. "Now, everybody say the magic words~ **_HAIL 2 U_**!"

Without any warning, the black clouds above started firing off massive bolts of lightning and a powerful gust of wind suddenly blew across the stage; forcing the young otaku to shield her eyes from the debris.

Moments later when the wind died down, she removed her hands from her eyes and was met with a most alarming sight.

Her fellow captives, Oscar included, were now suspended in what could only be described as swirling balls of wind. But even more shocking than that, their captor had almost decupled in size and was now looking down on her with glowing red eyes.

"You ready to get **_wrecked_**?" he asked threateningly.

Naturally, Annie responded to this the same way any normal, emotionally stable person in that situation would.

" _Meep_ …"

End Notes:

Thanks for reading.

This chapter was a bitch to write.

See you next time.

Peace.


	12. Chapter 11

Sorry that this one is shorter than normal. Anyway, Star vs the Forces of Evil is owned by Disney and Stands are the creation of the brilliant and talented Hirohiko Araki. Blah. Blah. Blah.

Enjoy.

1-Up Girl: Chapter 11.

 _(Forty-five minutes later_ )

The sky was angry, dear reader.

Angry like an old man trying to send back soup in a deli.

Thunder roared.

Lightning flashed.

The wind howled.

And the clouds were so thick and so black that it may as well have been the dead of night.

But as terrifying as the storm above might have been, the real nightmare was happening down below.

The final battle was underway and Ringo wasn't pulling any of his punches.

When he wasn't summoning meteor showers or flying demonic snakes, the emerald jinn was either shooting lasers out of his eyes or trying to flatten Annie with his bare fists.

So far, the young otaku had successfully managed to dodge her adversary's attacks by way of her almost uncanny proficiency for overlaying. But alas, she knew that she couldn't keep this up forever. Sooner or later her aura would start to take its toll on her body. A bone would crack or a blood vessel would burst, or God forbid she'd suffer some sort of stroke, and then the evil jinn would seize the opportunity and destroy her in any number of horrifying ways.

In short, the situation was less than ideal.

And yet, Annie could not allow herself the luxury of giving in to her fate. There were too many people counting on her to win this fight and save all of their lives. And that is precisely what she intended to do.

Somehow.

"Annie! Watch out!" cried Jackie from her spherical prison, shaking the young otaku back to the present.

Reacting quickly, Annie leapt sideways; narrowly avoiding getting her head bitten off by a flying snake.

A close call.

But then, she'd already survived at least a dozen others in the last five minutes, so what was one more?

 ** _CRASH_**!

Annie dodged yet another attack; a fist this time. Ringo's attacks were becoming predictable. But that didn't make them any less dangerous. That last punch alone had smashed a hole straight through the stone floor. She shuddered to think what it would've done to her bones.

High above the tower, floating just below the layer of clouds, the young otaku could see her enemy's health bar; still at 100%, of course. She'd been so busy dodging she hadn't had the chance to attack. But in order to attack she'd have to release her aura and summon her Stand the normal way. And that would leave her wide open to an attack.

But again, she couldn't just stay in overlay forever. Eventually she'd have to at least try to do something.

Oh well, no time like the present.

After letting herself skid to a halt, Annie recalled the aura enveloping her muscles and used it to materialize her Stand proper. Within moments, a tiny lime green anime frog burst from her chest and struck an overly dramatic pose.

" _Gero! Gero! Party Time!_ " it shouted excitedly.

"Okay, Aqua Boogie! Let's do this thing!" the young otaku said heroically. "Giant Aqua Shur _AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH_!"

Before she even knew what had happened, Annie was on her knees, clutching a large smoking hole in her side. And judging from the way he was smirking, it was pretty obvious that Ringo had something to do with it.

"Word to the wise, cupcake. This isn't an anime, so don't go announcing your attacks out loud." The emerald jinn said mockingly before raising his massive fist. "Not that you'll live long enough to learn from your mistake."

And with that, he threw what surely would've been a game ending punch.

Fortunately, Annie was able to recall her Stand and focus her aura back into her muscles. So she was able to jump out of the way in time.

Unfortunately, there was still a gapping hole in her side. And although the overlay was numbing the pain, it couldn't stop the bleeding. So really, it almost didn't matter.

'Oh my gosh, that was so stupid!' she thought to herself frantically. 'What's the heck is wrong with me? My friends are all counting on me and I just stood there and announced my attack like an idiot! Ringo's right, this isn't an anime. I need to take this seriously. The only problem is I can't bring out my Stand while I'm overlaying. But if I stop overlaying I'll be too slow to dodge these attacks. Plus my wound will start hurting again. Oh man, could this get any worse?'

Just then, one of Ringo's laser blasts tore through her left shoulder; sending a whole new wave a pain through her entire body.

'I had to ask.' She thought as she collapsed onto the cold hard ground; both wounds just oozing with blood.

"ANNIE!" cried Jackie.

"Oh my god! Is she okay?" asked Ferguson.

"Come on, Lightfoot! Don't quit on us now!" shouted Britney.

Meanwhile, Oscar and Chantelle just looked on in stunned silence; both looking deeply concerned.

Back on the tower, Annie was barely keeping it together. With a bit of overlaying, she'd managed to numb the pain and get back on her feet. But again, she could do nothing to stop the blood loss, so… you know.

'Oh man, this isn't good.' She thought to herself hysterically as she, against her better judgement, performed a triple backflip to avoid a random meteor. 'I can't attack, I can't stand still, and if I overlay too long I'll _OOOOOOOOOH THERE IT IS_!'

As if on cue, the young otaku felt something tear in her right leg; most likely a muscle. Finally, the constant overlaying was starting to take its toll. The pain was unbelievable. But it was nothing compared to what she felt when she landed.

" _AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH_!" she howled in agony as her feet touched the ground.

It was as if someone had just taken a butcher knife to her calf muscles. And unfortunately it didn't stop there. Before she could even blink, the poor dear felt several similarly painful sensations all over her body.

Her muscles were ripping apart at the seams, and there was nothing she could do about it.

Nothing except scream.

Scream like a tortured animal.

" _AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH_!" she howled as the sinews in her chest were torn asunder; magnifying her agony to almost biblical proportions.

For a split second, Annie thought her heart had been torn in half.

It was miracle she was still standing.

Hell, it was a miracle she was even still alive.

According to every known law of nature, she should've been dead by now, and yet somehow she endured.

It was as if something deep inside her just refused to give up, no matter how much her body wanted to.

High above her, Ringo was rambling on about something; presumably gloating about his supposed superiority to her and all other living things. But luckily, the pain had dulled her senses to the point that she couldn't hear a thing he was saying.

Thank goodness for small miracles.

Beyond the emerald jinn she saw her fellow captives; all of whom were looking at her with wide, fearful eyes.

They were all counting on her to save them and she let them down.

Because of her, they were all going to be dipped in lava.

Oh, how it made her young heart ache.

'I… I have to do something. I have to try.' She thought to herself groggily as a dark shadow fell upon her. 'If I could just… just…'

High above, Ringo readied himself to finish off the young otaku with one final attack, but of course she paid him no mind. She was far too busy focusing on her own aura.

'If I can just overlay one more time… just for a few seconds… I can line myself up for one last attack.'

In spite of the unbelievable agony ravaging her body, Annie tried to focus her aura back into her muscles. But, as you might've expected, this proved to be a costly mistake. Almost immediately, the pain intensified.

Sinews ripped.

Blood vessels burst.

Bones cracked.

It was like her body was being disassembled one piece at a time by some unseen ethereal biology student.

And all the while, a massive green fist was hurdling towards her like a meteor.

Her fellow captives were screaming at her; telling her to get out of the way. Not that she could hear them; her ears had already filled with blood. But even if she could've heard them it wouldn't have mattered. Her body was so heavily damaged that even if she could move it would've been pure agony.

No, as it stood, the only things Annie could do was stand there, suffer, and think.

'I have… I have to keep trying… People in trouble… Need me… Have to try again…'

Against all logic and common sense, the young otaku focused even more of her aura into her muscles, causing over a dozen blood vessels in her face to burst simultaneously.

Crimson tears began to run down her cheeks.

'Can't… let him… win… can't let… friends die…'

She tried to force even more aura into her body and at least nine of her ribs suddenly broke.

'Don't care how painful… Don't care if I die… Have to win… Have to save everyone…'

Ringo's fist was nearly upon her.

Within seconds she would be crushed into a gruesome paste.

But still she poured more and more aura into herself.

In spite of the pain.

In spite of the damage.

She pushed through it all.

'I… _will_ … save… _everyone_!'

And then, something unbelievable happened.

She exploded.

End Notes:

About five more chapters and this story will be complete.

Then I'll go on break again.

Until then, thanks for reading and I'll see you next time.

Peace.


	13. Chapter 12

Here's the big climax. I hope you like it. Star vs the Forces of Evil is owned by Disney and Stands are the creation of the brilliant and talented Hirohiko Araki. Yadda. Yadda. Enjoy.

1-Up Girl: Chapter 12

( _Right where we left off_ )

Like a star at the end of its lifespan, Annie's battered and bloody body was seemingly destroyed in a tremendous explosion.

So bright was the light emanating from it that Ringo had to pull back his fist in order to shield his eyes.

And so great was the force of the blast that only the will of their captor kept Jackie and the others from being blown off to parts unknown.

Fortunately, this didn't last long. After about a minute or so, the light began to fade and the winds died down.

Unfortunately, Annie was still nowhere to be seen. In fact, all that remained of the blast site was a rather large mass of pure white smoke.

No, scratch that. Upon closer examination, Jackie noted that it was much too wispy to be smoke.

It was more like steam.

Lots and lots of steam.

As if generated by some enormous and unseen source heat source.

Very unusual.

But more importantly, it was obstructing her few of ground zero; which, as you might imagine, was extremely vexing.

If Annie had simply died, the game would have ended and their captor would've likely started celebrating. But given his confused expression, it was clear that this peculiar series of events was not of his design.

Something very strange was going on here.

And for better or worse, Jackie needed to know what it was.

XXX

( _Down on the ground_ )

Like a newborn deer fresh out of its mother's womb, Annie stumbled around on shaky legs through a world that was alien and out of focus.

" _Ugh_ …" she moaned groggily as her cognitive faculties slowly returned. "What happened? Why is my skin all tingly?"

 ** _Crunch!_**

"Oh no." she said fretfully. "Please tell me I didn't just do what I think I did."

Slowly the young otaku looked down at her feet and, to her great embarrassment, she saw that her worst fears had been realized. While in her semiconscious stupor, she'd apparently lost her glasses and now they'd been crushed into a hundred pieces by her big webbed feet.

Wait… big webbed feet?

What the heck?

Upon closer inspection, Annie saw that her eyes weren't playing tricks on her. Her feet had in fact grown large and webbed. And _green_!

Yes, as unbelievable as it might sound, dear reader, it was true. Annie's skin had gone from its usual Caucasian to an eerily familiar lime green. And not just on her feet, but all over her entire body. Every single inch of her pasty epidermis had become green and sort of cartoony looking.

Needless to say, the young otaku found this deeply, deeply disturbing. And these intense feelings of unease were only worsened when she took a moment to look at her hands.

" _Whah_!" she yelped in alarm as she saw that her hands now matched her feet. " _Ew! Ew! Ew! Ew! EW!_ My hands are all gross and webby! Get it off! Get it off! _Get it off_!"

But alas, no matter how hard she shook them, the strange webbing between her fingers did not go away.

" _AAAH_! This is sick and wrong!" Annie cried distraughtly, before an unpleasant thought suddenly bubbled to the forefront of her brain. "Wait, if my hands look like this, then what about my face?"

In a panic, the young otaku started feeling around her face and, to her immense displeasure, she quickly discovered that her nose and mouth had been stretched out and fused together into a small but noticeable amphibian snout.

Naturally, Annie took this new development the same way any rational person would.

" ** _AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! I'M A FROG!_** " she screamed in terror as she flailed her arms about frantically and dashed into the steam cloud like a demented loon. " ** _AAAAAAAH! I'M A FROG! I'M A FROG! SOMEBODY PLEASE HELP ME!_** "

Without realizing it, Annie had run right through the concealing mist; putting herself, and her shocking new form on full display.

And needless to say, this elicited quite the reaction from the peanut gallery.

" ** _WHUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUH!_** " went everyone, including Ringo, in perfect unison.

"L-L-L-Lightfoot? Is that you?" asked Britney, being the first to regain her composure. "What the heck happened? You're all… _green_?"

"I don't know!" Annie replied hysterically, still flailing her arms about like a lunatic. "I was just trying to overlay and now I'm a frog! **_AAAH_**! I don't wanna be a frog! Jackie, please help me!"

" _WHAT_? Why me?" asked the young skateboarder, sounding just as freaked out as everyone else.

"You're the one who's always talking about the secrets of the universe! You've gotta know something!"

"Sorry, but I have no idea what this is. It's like you and your Stand just… _fused_ together somehow."

" _Fused_! I've fused with my Stand?" Annie asked aloud, sounding positively aghast. "I don't think I like this. No, I definitely don't like this! Make it stop! _Make it stop!_ "

"Um… If I might interject." Ringo spoke up suddenly, sounding almost as off put as his captives. "As much as I hate to break up this _riveting_ back and forth, I feel I must point out that this whole thing has gotten rather weird. Too weird even for my tastes. So… I'm just gonna end this before anything else happens. Sound good?"

Since this was not truly a question, the emerald jinn wasted no time waiting for a reply. So instead he raised his mighty fist once more and threw what surely would have been a life ending blow.

Fortunately, as she was already in a panic, Annie reacted quickly and, to her great astonishment, suddenly sprang herself over two hundred feet into the air.

" ** _What_**?" Ringo cried in amazement as his tiny adversary zoomed higher into the lower atmosphere. "You can **_fly_**?"

Moments later, the young otaku fell back down to earth and landed softly on her webbed feet; miraculously unharmed.

"Um… apparently not." She replied, clearly confused by her own achievement.

Perturbed, but not discouraged, Ringo quickly shook off his astonishment and launched another attack; this time in the form of a meteor shower.

However, before any of the flaming space rocks could even come close, the young otaku suddenly vanished without a trace and then rematerialized several yards behind her attacker.

"Whoa…" she muttered in quiet awe. "Did I just teleport?"

" ** _Who cares!_** " roared Ringo in a fit of rage as he attempted to end her with another laser blast. But just like the last time, Annie suddenly disappeared and then reappeared over fifty yards away. " ** _WHAT!_** "

In a blind fury, the emerald jinn fired every attack in his repertoire, from fist to serpent, in an attempt to slay his hated foe. But alas, every time the result was the same; the young otaku would simply vanish and then reappear quicker than he could blink. Which of course only intensified his wrath.

But while Ringo was busy trying to exterminate her, Annie was having the time of her life.

'OMG~ This is amazing!' she thought to herself giddily as she effortlessly avoided one of Ringo's demon snakes. 'It's not teleportation, it's super speed. It's just like when I was overlaying, only now my reflexes are so quick I'm moving faster than I can think.'

A bit of an oversimplification, but accurate nonetheless.

Unfortunately, before she could truly revel in her newfound abilities, the emerald jinn somehow managed to catch her in his massive green mitts.

" ** _HA! GOTCHA!_** " Ringo shouted gloatingly as he raised his clasped hands to eyelevel. "Not so clever now, are you, Lightfoot? Thought you could get the best of me ** _AAAAAAAAH_**!"

Before anyone even knew what had happened, the emerald jinn released his grip; allowing Annie to slip free and revealing an enormous shuriken shaped water construct stabbed into his right palm.

' _OMG_ ~' the young otaku squealed internally as she landed safely on the ground. 'That was Aqua Boogie's Giant Aqua Shuriken. So wait, I'm super-fast _and_ I can use my Stand's awesome ninja attacks? I've changed my mind. I LOVE BEING A FROG!'

In spite of her unbridled elation, Annie managed to maintain her composure long enough to notice two important things. 1) That Ringo's health bar had gone down to 95%. And 2) That he was so distracted by the gash in his hand that he wasn't even looking at her.

'Oh, this is just too good.' She thought as her lips formed into a mischievous smirk. 'Now let's see if I can cut that big bully down to size.'

Without a moment's hesitation, the young otaku formed a classic ninja hand sign and almost immediately fired a cannonball sized sphere of rotating, glowing water straight at her captor's solar plexus.

 ** _BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!_**

The resulting explosion was at least three times larger than any she'd ever made before using Aqua Boogie. And the force it created was so great that it caused the giant jinn to cough up some of his own blood and sent his all-important health meter down to 45%.

" _GAAAAH_!" he cried out as he attempted to cradle his severely damaged stomach area in his arms. " _You_ … you horrible little _bitch_! I'm gonna burn you to a **_crisp_**!"

And with that, he fired an extra deadly looking eye blast right at his froggy foe.

However, just before it made contact, Annie vanished once again.

"Hey, no fair! Stay still so I can kill you!" Ringo whined childishly as he feverishly searched for his target. But alas, she was nowhere to be seen. " ** _RAAAAAAR! WHERE ARE YOU!_** "

" _Ha-Ha-Ha-Ha-Ha-Ha-Ha-Ha-Ha-Ha-Ha-Ha~_ " Annie laughed sweetly, in a voice that seemed to come from everywhere at once. " _Boy, you really aren't very bright, are you._ "

"What did you say?"

" _But I guess that's to be expected. I mean, you don't really learn anything if you never challenge yourself._ "

"You little bitch! Come out and show yourself!"

" _Don't get me wrong. Playing videogames is fun, but it's not really a talent. Really, anyone can do it if they know what buttons to push._ "

"Shut up! You don't know anything!"

" _I know how to hit a homerun. And I know how to draw and write my own stories. Which means I also know how to dissect a character's personality. Wanna know what I've learned about yours?_ "

"I said, shut up!"

" _You spent your whole life being jealous of the talents of others, so you shunned any activity you weren't instantly good at to avoid feeling inferior. And since you were bullied as a child, you think that gives you the right to bully others as an adult._ "

"SHUT UP!"

" _You hate people because you don't understand them. And you don't understand them because you shelter yourself in worlds of bright colors and flashy lights._ "

"Please, just stop talking!"

" _You enjoy killing people because you think it makes up for being picked on when you were little. You call yourself a god, but your powers are limited to the imaginations of people far more ambitious than you._ "

"Shut up! Shut up! Shut up!"

" _In short, you never really grew out of the egocentricities of childhood. You're a sad, pathetic, possibly overweight man-child who lacks any form of imagination or talent. And the only source of joy in your life is the giving of pain to others. You're a loathsome wretch and I truly feel sorry for you_."

" ** _RRRRRRRRRRRRRR! WHERE ARE YOU!_** "

" _Up here~_ "

Almost instantly, Ringo turned his gaze upwards and, to his immense astonishment, he saw his frogified foe hovering about a hundred feet overhead; using one of her Giant Aqua Shuriken as a makeshift propeller.

"Hi~" she said cheerfully as she gave him a playful wave.

" ** _YOU_**! You **_dare_** mock **_me_**! I'll **_fry_** you to a **_crisp_**!"

And with that, the emerald jinn attempted to burn the young otaku alive with his heat vision.

But surprisingly, nothing happened.

"What the… No. NO! Why isn't this working?"

"It's like I said earlier. Your powers are limited to the imaginations of others. And the guys who programed this game never gave Le Jinn an attack that shoots up." Annie said before weaving a onehanded hand sign. "Whereas my Stand is limited only by my own imagination. Which as you're about to see is limitless."

Seconds later, a massive cloud of water constructs formed just above where Annie was hovering; blotting out the game's cartoonish sun and shrouding the entire arena in shadow.

Shuriken, Kunai, Senbon, Caltrops, Arrows, Spears, Tridents, Halberds, Sabers, and Katanas.

Thousands upon thousands of weaponry themed water constructs. All of them sharp. All of them deadly. And all of them pointed directly at Ringo. And with so much of the tower caught in the shade, there was nowhere he could go without being torn to shreds.

Suddenly, the emerald jinn started to sweat.

"W-W-W-Wait a minute! Let's not be too hasty about this!" he said in a cowardly and pathetic attempt to save his own skin. "You said yourself that you don't wanna kill anyone! So how about we just sit down and-and talk about this? You know, like adults?"

"You're right, I don't want to kill anyone." Annie replied somberly, before quickly regaining her fiery passion. "But I'll do whatever it takes to save my friends! I gave you a chance to end this peacefully and you threw it away like a spoiled child! You treat people like toys and torture them for your own amusement. As far as I'm concerned, you're not even human! So I'll feel no guilt about what comes next! Goodbye, Mr. Ringo!"

With a slight change in her hand sign, the water constructs started to fall.

Ringo let out a girlish shriek before trying once again to plead for his life.

But alas, these pleas fell upon deaf ears.

Annie's purse of forgiveness had run out.

So instead of indulging his childish attempts to worm his way out of it, the young otaku just looked down at him and with a stern gaze shouted,

" ** _HELL 2 U!_** "

End Notes:

Only 4 chapters left and then I'm back on hiatus.

Thanks for reading and I'll see you in the next one.

Peace.


	14. Chapter 13

Star vs the Forces of Evil is owned by Disney and Stands are the creation of the brilliant and talented Hirohiko Araki. Yadda. Yadda. Enjoy.

1-Up Girl: Chapter 13.

( _Moments later_ )

In an abrupt, and quite frankly bizarre, turn of events, Annie suddenly found herself standing in the dark and dust filled hall of the abandoned Lucky Land Arcade.

After a quick examination of her person, she realized that both her clothes and her body had reverted to their original states. Which, as I'm sure you can imagine, came to here as a huge relief. After all, who wants to go through life as an Arabian frog?

But as glad as she was to be back to normal, this paled in comparison to the relief she felt once she realized that Jackie and the others were their with her, and that they, like her, had been returned to their usual manners of dress. For this was all but undeniable confirmation that their ordeal was finally over.

John Ringo was dead and his world of illusions had been destroyed.

At last, they could all go home.

"Uh… what the heck just happened?" asked Ferguson, suddenly shaking Annie out of her thoughts.

" _Duh_! Lightfoot won the game, genius. What do you think happened?" answered Britney cuttingly; clearly unchanged by her experience.

"Yeah, I got that. But I mean, why did it all just stop? One minute Ringo's about to be torn to shreds by those ninja weapons, and the next we're all back here. It doesn't make any sense. Shouldn't there have been a kill screen or an end credits sequence or _something_? Really anticlimactic if you ask me."

"Yeah, well, nobody asked you." The head cheerleader replied bluntly before giving her arms a quick and catlike stretch. "Personally, I don't know what happened and I don't care. I'm just glad it's finally o…"

" _UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGGGGGGH!_ "

Suddenly, everyone's attention was diverted to the far end of the arcade by a loud, almost zombielike groan.

" ** _UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGHH!_** "

Despite the darkness that permeated the room, there was just enough light peeking through the boarded up windows for the group to see where the dreadful noise was coming from.

On the far side of the hall, a large doughy looking figure sat slumped against the wall. Upon closer inspection, Annie could clearly see that it was a young man, most likely in his mid-thirties, with pale pasty skin and horrible acne. His body was so bloat and hairy, that to the casual observer he might've resembled an overweight sasquatch, but his thick prescription glasses, carpal tunnel braces, and open toed sandals with socks were a dead giveaway of his status as a human being; albeit an extremely unattractive one.

" _UUUUUUGH!_ My stomach." The ugly ape-man groaned in a voice that was disturbingly familiar. "That bitch really tore up my insides."

"What the hell?" said Ferguson, unknowingly speaking for everyone. "Is that…"

"John Ringo." Jackie finished his sentence. "Only without all the smoke and mirrors."

"Wow, he's even uglier than I imagined." Britney added tactlessly. "Good Lord, he's like the world's fattest orangutan."

"I can hear you." The fat man said annoyedly as he shakily attempted to get back on his feet. "And for the record, I was right. My Stand didn't kill me. So, _HA_!"

"It didn't kill you because you didn't let the game play out to its natural conclusion." Jackie spoke up again, this time with a disapproving tone. "You recalled your Stand before Annie could deal the final blow."

"Ah-HA!" exclaimed Ferguson. "I knew something screwy was going on here. After all that bunk about devoting your life to the games and never backing down, you chickened out at the last minute. What a loser!"

"Oh yeah, well… shut up!" Ringo replied childishly as he finally managed to get back on his own two feet. "Of course I value my own life. Like any of you wouldn't 've done the same. And besides, _she_ wanted to quit first! How come you're not giving her any flak?"

"Lightfoot wanting to quit was an act of mercy. You quitting was just plain wimpy." Britney explained insultingly, before quickly adding, "Not that I'm surprised, considering what a whiney baby you were during the games."

"Yes, I quite agree." Chantelle spoke up unexpectedly. "After all your shameful behavior, you could've at least let yourself die with dignity."

" _Nyah, Nyah, Nyah, Nyah, die with dignity~_ " the fat man replied with infantile mockery. "Whatever! All I know is that I didn't die. And if I didn't die, then I didn't lose. And if I didn't lose, then that means I'm the winner. So you can all just go eat a giant di ** _AK_**!"

Before anyone knew what had happened, Ringo was laying flat on his back; his glasses shattered and his eye sockets oozing with blood.

After the initial shock had worn off, everyone realized that Annie had somehow dashed clear across the room in less than a second. And was now standing over the unconscious gamer with her right fist raised.

Slowly she turned back around to face the others, and with a look of utter bewilderment she said,

"Um… oops."

XXX

( _Roughly fifty five minutes later_ )

For the first time in over twenty-five years, Somerset Boulevard was abuzz with activity.

Police and paramedics dominated the street while crowds of curious onlookers congested the sidewalks.

And at the center of it all, sat six courageous teens and one very bewildered officer.

"Okay… let me see if I got this straight." Said Officer Frehley, sounding deeply, deeply confused. "That fat guy over there on the gurney lured you all down here with fake text messages. He then kidnaped you with the intent to kill. But then _she_ broke free and beat him up?"

"Yes, that's precisely what happened, Officer." Britney replied curtly; having already gone through this six times.

For those of you out there who are a little confused by this scene, please permit me to explain.

Shortly after Annie had clocked Ringo into next week, the group took a vote and decided that since his Stand required a specific set of circumstances in order to work it would be fine to just call the cops and have them arrest his crazy ass.

Naturally, they had Britney make the call; her wealth and status ensuring a speedy response. And while they were waiting they decided, for obvious reasons, to give the cops an abridged version of what actually happened.

Unfortunately, the abridged version was almost as hard to swallow as the full story.

So there they were, six teens sitting on the sidewalk with blankets draped over their shoulders for some reason, telling the same story over and over again to some big dummy in a uniform.

Just peachy.

"But… we're talking about _that_ girl, right? The little scrawny one with the braces?" the officer asked again, clearly not buying it.

"Look, we've been through this six times. What part of it aren't you understanding?" Britney shot back, clearly starting to get annoyed.

"Well, you gotta admit it's a little farfetched. I mean, look at her. She's just a scrawny little nerd."

"Are you calling me a liar?" the head cheerleader said in a sharp and threatening tone.

"W-What? No, I didn't say that."

"Oh, so then you're saying I don't know what I'm talking about? That I'm just some airheaded bimbo cheerleader? Is that it?"

"No! I didn't say that either!"

"Do you know who _I_ am? Who my _father_ is?"

"Y-Yes, Miss Wong."

"Are you aware that with just one phone call I could see to it that you're busted down to meter maid for the rest of your working life?"

"Yes, Miss Wong."

" _And_ that with another phone call I could have Daddy's lawyers litigate you and your entire family straight into the poorhouse?"

"Yes, Miss Wong."

"Yes, Miss Wong. Yes, Miss Wong. Yes, Miss Wong. Is that all you can say?"

"No, Miss Wong."

"Here's a fun idea. Why don't you just _go_. Go give your report to your captain or whatever. Instead of standing here like a big dumb stiff and wasting my time with your 'Yes, Miss Wong', and your 'No, Miss Wong'."

"Y-Yes, Miss…"

" _GO_!"

And with that, the forty something year old cop scurried away from the ninety something pound cheerleader like a frightened rabbit.

Needless to say, the others were quite impressed.

"Whoa… _That_ was _hot_!" Ferguson exclaimed, his teenage hormones practically tripping from every word.

" _Ugh_. I can't stand men like that." The head cheerleader said, ignoring the tubby ginger's not so subtle come on. "Just overgrown kids in uniforms. Acting tough just because they've got a badge. But line a hundred of them back to back and there's not enough spine between them for a jellyfish."

"You know Britney, if I didn't know any better, I'd say your little outburst was the direct result of that officer's less than favorable description of Annie." Said Jackie in that knowing and slightly condescending tone usually reserved for old people. "Yes, I'd even go as far as to say you were defending her honor after he called her a nerd."

"Oh, shut up, Thomas." She shot back sharply, before quickly changing the subject. "Hey Lightfoot, you like boxing?"

"What?"

" _Boxing_. You know, two men with perfect bodies punching each other until one of them can't get up. Do you like it or what?"

"Oh, um… yeah, it's pretty cool, I guess."

"Good, because Charlie 'Dynamite' Watkins is having his third title defense next Saturday, and you're coming over to watch it with me."

"Wait, are you asking me to hang out with you?"

"I don't ask, Lightfoot. I tell."

"Oh, um… okay then. I guess I'll see you there."

"You'd better."

"So, uh… Annie." Chantelle chimed in out of nowhere. "What exactly was that whole… frog thing? I mean, how did you do that?"

"Yeah, and what was with that punch?" Ferguson interjected. "Do you have superspeed all the time now?"

" _Sigh_. I have no idea." The young otaku answered exasperatedly. "I don't even know how I'm still alive. I remember my insides getting all torn apart and losing tons of bloods. And then… _Boom_!"

"It was a metamorphosis!" Jackie spoke up suddenly; sounding slightly crazed. "Like a butterfly emerging from a cocoon, you shed your awkward chrysalis and transformed into the beautiful Frog Princess you were always destined to be."

" _Sigh_. Jackie, can you _please_ not do the whole fortune cookie guru thing right now? I have a _huge_ headache."

To this the young skateboarder replied with a short chuckle.

"Well, whatever it was, it was amazing." Ferguson chimed in again. "The way you were jumping around all over the place and shooting ninja weapons. It was like a figgin' movie."

"Yeah, I guess it was pretty cool." Annie said with pride before adopting a slightly more serious tone. "I just hope there weren't any permanent side effects."

"You mean besides not needing your glasses anymore?"  
"Yeah… That's gonna take some getting used to. Plus, what am I gonna tell my parents?"

"I think you look better without 'em." Oskar said unexpectedly; instantly earning everyone's attention.

"Y-Y-You really think so?" Annie asked as her cheeks began to burn a little.

"Totally. I think…"

" _Sigh_." Went Ferguson, cutting Oskar off midsentence. "You know, as much fun as it is seeing Ringo get carted off in an ambulance, it still bugs me that I didn't get to see the end of the game."

" _Ugh_. Are you _still_ harping on that?" Britney said annoyedly. "Just look it up on your phone, genius."  
"Oh right, _duh_. Hold on. Just give me one… _ah-ha_!" the tubby ginger said as he found the desired article via his mobile device. "According to this, after Le Jinn explodes, the prince and his harem are teleported back to the oasis. Then he takes his most beautiful bride in his arms and they kiss as the credits start to roll. Aww man! Now _that_ would've been a cool ending. Wish we could've seen it."

"I think I can help with that." The young hipster spoke up again, before quickly leaning in and planting a short but passionate kiss right on Annie's lips; shocking her and everyone else in the vicinity.

Moments later when he finally pulled back, Oskar was looking mighty pleased with himself. Annie on the other hand looked like she'd just witnessed a car accident. Her eyes were wide as saucers and all the blood had drained from her face.

"So… are you, like, doing anything later?" the young hipster asked her casually.

To which she replied,

"I… I-I… AH-HA-HA- **HA** - _HA_!"

And then she fainted.

"Uh… was that a yes?"

End Notes:

Only three chapters left and then I go on vacation.

Thanks for reading and I'll see you in the next one.

Peace.


	15. Chapter 14

Blah. Blah. Blah. Star vs the Forces of Evil is owned by Disney and Stands are the creation of the brilliant and talented Hirohiko Araki. Enjoy.

1-Up Girl: Chapter 14.

( _Later that night_ )

The Victoria Cygne Memorial Hospital has stood in Echo Creek for longer than anyone can remember.

Originally the home of shipping magnate Phillippe Cygne, this three story palatial mansion was converted into a hospital in the mid-1890s, following the death of Cygne's wife.

For over a hundred and twenty years, this proud institution has stood as both a monument to eternal love and a testament to one man's selfless devotion to aiding his fellow man.

Or at least that's what most people think, but we'll get more into that later.

For right now, let's just focus on the present.

It was about half past ten in the evening when Ringo was suddenly roused from his sound sleep by a stabbing pain in his stomach.

" ** _URAAAH!_** " he groaned in mild agony as he attempted to lunge forward, only to discover that his wrists were securely chained to something sturdy. " _AAAAK!_ What's going on? Why… Why can't I see?"

All very good questions. Last thing he remembered was getting socked in the face by that little twerp Annie. And the next thing he knew he was chained to a bed; and apparently without his glasses, given how blurry everything was.

"AH~ Sounds like someone's finally up~" said a cheery, singsong voice that seemed to be coming from one of the numerous amorphous blobs floating around the room. "Are you feeling any better, Mr. Ringo?"

"Who said that? Who's there?"

"What's the matter, dearie? Can't you… oh wait, of course you can't. I've got your glasses right here. Silly me. Let me just get that for you."

And just like that, the world was back in focus.

Suddenly Ringo found himself handcuffed to a bed in a room so drab and unappealing that it could only have been in a hospital.

Needless to say, the seasoned killer found this quite surprising, but not nearly as surprising as the woman who was in there with him. She was, admittedly, a very lovely creature; with her sparkling green eyes and jet black hair done up in a bun. But there was something… _off_ about her. Her expression was just so… _cheerful_. Not quite in the 'demented mental patient' kind of way, but more in the 'so perky it's sickening' kind of way. At any rate, in spite of her rather pleasing appearance, Ringo found her gregarious grin quite unnerving.

And coming from a serial killer, that says a lot.

"W-What's going on here? Where am I? Who are you?" the hefty murdered asked bluntly; hoping to intimidate.

Unfortunately, this seemed to have the opposite effect.

" _Heh-Heh-Heh_ ~ Well now, aren't you just full of questions." the strange woman said amusedly. "Alright then, in reverse order. _I_ am Dr. Sally Cygne. _This_ is the Victoria Cygne Memorial Hospital, of which I am the chief physician, just FYI. And what's going on, Mr. Ringo, is that _you_ are in very deep trouble."

"W-What are you talking about? How do you know my name?"

"Oh, that's right. You were unconscious for that part, weren't you. Well, let me help you get up to speed. While you were napping you got arrested, and now the feds are coming to take you away~"

" _Arrested_? **_GAH_**! That scrawny little **_bitch_**! Just wait 'til I… wait… what do you mean the feds are coming? What do they want with me?"

"Funny story, you're gonna love this. Okay, so when the cops ran your picture through the database, something very interesting happened. Turns out that a man fitting your description is wanted for questioning in over two hundred murder investigations all across the country. The feds have been after you for years. You're their _white whale_ ~"

"Oh my god…"

"I know~ And you had no idea~ I bet you thought you were clever or something. That you were the world's most brilliant criminal mastermind. Oh~ This is just too rich~"

And from there, the perky doctor began to laugh most haughtily; much to Ringo's irritation.

"Wait a minute, how the hell do you know all this?" he asked annoyedly.

"Oh, you know~ I'm just one of those people that people love to spill their guts to. Plus, I'm incredibly nosey."

"So… what? You found all this out and decided to just come in here and tease me about it? What are you, nuts?"

"Oh, come on. Don't be such a Grumpy Gus~" the strange doctor said with almost childlike giddiness. "You know, the universe has such a charming sense of humor. The trick is learning how to take a joke. _Heh-Heh-Heh-_ _ **Heh**_ - _Heh-Heh-Hoo~_ "

At this, Ringo just rolled his eyes.

"You came in here to steal my meds, didn't you."

"Oh lighten up, John Boy. Try looking on the bright side."

"What bright side?"

"Well… You're still alive, aren't you? Plus, you're really lucky you had that extra pair of glasses in your back pocket and that all that broken glass didn't cut anything important; otherwise you'd be blind right now. Not to mention that you've got such a _lovely_ sounding name."

"Eh… what?"

"No, no, I really mean it. John Ringo~ It's got such a musical quality to it. Like the kind you'd hear in one of those old folk songs."

And then, without any warning, the strange woman began to sing.

 _Johnny Ringo went down South~_

 _A-Riding on a River Boat~_

 _Sang a song of love and marriage~_

 _But sounded like a Billy Goat~_

 _But all the same, folks liked the song~_

 _So they came from far and near~_

 _They found the tune most elegant~_

 _For everyone to hear~_

 _Johnny Ringo, sing it up~_

 _Johnny Ringo Dandy~_

 _Mind the music and the words~_

 _And keep the songs in handy~_

 _YAH~_

For reasons beyond the realm of rational thought, the strange woman decided to end her little impromptu performance with a pair of jazz hands. Which, as I'm sure you can imagine, only intensified the awkwardness of the situation.

Ringo had no idea how to respond to this. He felt like the straight man in some kind of poorly written comedy sketch. So, drawing on what little experience he had interacting with other people, the hefty killer just stared at the peculiar woman like she'd spontaneously grown a second head.

"Wow… not even a chuckle." She said in quiet disbelief. "You're a real stiff, you know that."

"Well _excuse me_ if I don't pee my pants with laughter. But in case you've forgotten, I'm going to be hanged tomorrow!"

"Oh, don't be such a drama queen." The strange doctor replied dismissively. "Nobody hangs anyone anymore, they use lethal injection nowadays. And besides, they'll only put you on death row for now. Why, it could be years before they get around to executing you."

"Oh, well that just makes _everything_ better." Ringo said with bitter sarcasm. "Look, I don't know if you're crazy or if you're just a bitch, but could you _please_ just go away. I've had an awful day and I wanna be alone."

"What's the matter, dearie? Don't you find my positive energy and perky demeanor charming?"

" ** _No_**."

"Well, I'm sorry. But can you blame me? I mean, I have so many responsibilities, and as the great granddaughter of this hospital's founder, I'm expected to conduct myself in certain… _dignified_ manner. I get so few opportunities to just relax and be myself; at least while I'm making my rounds anyway."

"So… what? You needed to blow off some steam, so you came in here to act like a fool, knowing nobody would believe the word of a serial killer?"

" _Heh-Heh-Heh-Heh-Heh~_ " the strange doctor laughed haughtily. "Oh no, Mr. Ringo. It's not that at all. I was just trying to impart a little wisdom before you go. Well, more of a family motto as it were. You see, it doesn't matter who you are or what you do, whether you're a doctor, a shipping magnate, a French silk merchant, or even an English count; you can't go through life being serious all the time. Now and then you've gotta allow yourself the chance to act a little silly. Because you never know what day's gonna be your last. And when that day comes, you don't want your last thought to be, 'Gosh darn it, I wish I'd had more fun'."

"Wow… great lesson. Can I be alone now?"

But Dr. Cygne did not answer this question. She didn't even seem to realize she'd been asked a question. Instead she just got this strange look in her eyes and started talking.

"This hospital used to be the family mansion, you know. My great grandfather Philippe designed every room, right down to the smallest detail." She said for no apparent reason. "This room, for example, used to be his private abattoir. See, great grandpa liked all his meat fresh, but he didn't like the quality at the local butcher shops. That's why he set up this room so he could cut up his own meat. Soundproof walls. A big drain in the floor. Such a clever man, that Philippe. Wish I could've met him."

"Is there a point to this, or are you just rambling again?"

"My _point_ , Mr. Ringo, is that this building has been in my family for generations. I know all its secrets. Every nook. Every cranny. Every single detail. Which is why I can say with absolute certainty that no one besides the three of us will ever know about what comes next."

"The… three of us?" he repeated confusedly. "What are you…"

 ** _CREEEEEEEAAAAAK!_**

As if to answer his question, a small part of the wall suddenly lifted up into the ceiling; forming a crude but functional doorway. Moments later, a lone figure stepped through said doorway and gave the hefty killer the shock of his life.

There, standing at the foot of his bed, right next to the peculiar doctor, was that cheerleader from earlier. Not the bitchy one, but the other one. The kind of messed up one. What was her name again?

"Chantelle." She said abruptly.

"W-What?"

"That's my name, genius. Chantelle Riverbottom. I know you've already forgotten it."

"What, n-no, I…"

"Don't bother denying it. Everyone forgets my name. But then again, that's kind of what I'm going for."

"What the hell's going on here? What is this?"

"I already told you, Mr. Ringo. What's going on is that you are in very deep trouble." Dr. Cygne said in a soft yet menacing tone. "You see, Mr. Ringo, I'm an optimist. No matter how bad things get I always try to look at the funny side. _Heh-Heh-Heh_ … But then you kidnapped my daughter. And now things aren't so funny. So don't you worry about those nasty feds, Mr. Ringo. By the time they get here, you'll have pulled off the single most mindboggling _escape_ in the history of this country."

Suddenly, a dark and malevolent aura filled up the room and a tremendous pressure started pushing down against Ringo's body; instantly knocking all the air out of his lungs.

" _Whuh_ - ** _Whah_**!" the hefty man caughed out as he struggled in vain just to breathe. " ** _WHA_**! **_WHAGAH_**! **_WHAGAH_**!"

"What's he saying, mommy?" Chantelle asked her mother in mock confusion.

"I don't know, precious. But if I had to guess I'd say, ' _Please, please, kill me now_ '."

"Oh, well do you think we should? I mean, who are we to let a poor dumb animal suffer?"

" _Hmmmm_ … That's a good point, my little sweetie poo~ And I did miss lunch today."

"Well then by all means, please take the first bite."

"No, no, poopsie. What kind of mother would deprive her baby of such a pleasure."

"Okay, then we'll do it together. On three?"

"On three."

"One~"

Suddenly, a pair of dark shapes materialized behind the two maniacs.

" _Two_ ~"

Ringo felt his heart leap into his throat as one of the shapes lunged forward and revealed its large lamp like eyes and a mouth full of razor-sharp teeth.

" _THREE_ ~"

And then the feast began.

End Notes:

Only two chapters left.

Gonna try to get them both done before I go on vacation, but no promises.

Anyway, thanks for reading and I'll see you next time.

Peace.


	16. Chapter 15

This one is a lot longer than normal. I hope you like it. Anyway, Star vs the Forces of Evil is owned by Disney and Stands are the creation of the brilliant and talented Hirohiko Araki. Enjoy.

1-Up Girl: Chapter 15.

( _Whimsy Valley, Mewni: ten days later_ )

The world was but a snow white dreamland.

No Sky.

No Earth.

No Past.

No Future.

No Pain.

No Sorrow.

Nothing but the whiteness… and voices.

"So, Marcus, who's our next patient?" asked one voice; sounding as though it belonged to a much older gentleman.

"Just a moment, Dr. Brando. I'm almost done recalibrating the machine." Replied another voice; sounding much younger than the one before. "There we go. Now let me see… ah, here it is. Mr. David Matthews. Age 27. Admitted to the Oakridge Asylum in Kennebunkport, Maine almost eighteen months ago. Apparently, a man broke into his home one night and eviscerated his pregnant wife right in front of him. Poor fellow's been like this ever since. Never talks. Barely eats. Lost in his own little world. Probably doesn't even know we're here."

"Tragic. Truly tragic." The first voice said with hollow sympathy. "Oh well, no since crying over spilt milk. Is the device ready yet?"

"Yes, Doctor. Primed and ready."

"Excellent. Let's start him off with something simple. One hundred volts should do the trick. Prepare to engage on my signal."

"Yes, Doctor."

 **BARK! BARK! BARK! BARK!**

" ** _And somebody shut up that dog!_** "

 _Click_.

Brando awoke suddenly in a cold sweat.

No longer was he in the milky void with the faceless voices.

He was back in his tent in Whimsy Valley; sitting upon his makeshift throne of plywood and scrap iron.

His loyal pet, Mr. Jones, was on his perch; sleeping soundly and dreaming his own little dreams.

A dream.

That's all it had been.

Just a fragmented remnant of a much darker time.

Nothing more.

Best to just forget about it. After all, there was only one dream that truly mattered. The one that would soon come true.

The Dream of Utopia.

"Master." Said a familiar monotone voice; shaking the aged Stand User out of his thoughts. "I have returned."

At the mouth of the tent stood a tall Mewman woman with long purple pigtails and twin buns. Once she had been Mina Loveberry, the celebrated defender of Mewni. Now she was little more than a tool. Just a robot made of meat.

"Ah, Mina. So good to have you back." Brando said amusedly as his pawn stepped through the flap and kneeled before him. "What have you to report?"

"All goes according to your design, my Master." Mina replied robotically; her eyes glazed and lifeless. "As of this afternoon, over 65% of Mewni's Monster population have been converted into Stand Users. And of the remaining 35%, over 25% are either too young, too old, or too sickly to be of any use. Our army has nearly reached the highest possible number of powerful, able-bodied Stand Users."

"Good… Good…" he said with a sinister sort of smirk; showing off his hideous rotten teeth. "And what of our Mewman soldiers?"

"At present, our army consists of roughly twenty thousand Mewman soldiers. But that number is expected to rise steadily once our campaign begins."

"Explain."

"The child suicide bombings have stirred up longstanding feelings of mistrust and resentment towards the royal family. While many members of noble and military families still support Queen Moon, the rumor mill runs rampant amongst the rank and file. Many ordinary citizens, particularly those from farming communities near the kingdom's borders, wish to see the Butterflies removed from power, but do not voice these opinions publicly for fear of reprisal. However, once our initial attacks begin in the outer territories, it is likely that many of these citizens will willingly join our cause. By the time they reach the capital, our Mewman forces could be as many as thirty thousand or more."

Brando's smile grew even wider. Although he had stripped Mina of her freewill and personality, the Hobyah Man had made sure to restore most of her memories. Having spent so many years as a high-ranking member of the Mewnian Military, her brain was a veritable treasure trove of useful information. And without her numerous disorders mucking up the works, she was now processing that information at optimum efficiency. Which is exactly what you want in a robot.

"Very nice… Very nice…" he said, sounding quite pleased with himself. However, a random thought suddenly popped into his head; a thought that caused him mild distress. "Mina, may I have your opinion on something?"

"Yes, Master."

"Well, as you know, it is my goal to conquer all of Mewni in a single day with zero casualties on our side." He said, making it all sound so simple. "However, it occurs to me that Mewmans and Monsters aren't the only sentient creatures in this dimension. There are other species with kingdoms and armies of their own. And most of them have alliances with Queen Moon. In your opinion, could these other races pose a threat to our plans if they were to intervene? And if so, would it be possible to turn them over to our side before we begin our campaign?"

This time Mina did not answer right away. Instead she sat in silence for a few moments as her cold, logically brain analyzed the data.

"Both scenarios are possible. But neither is very likely." She said at last.

"Oh? How so?"

"While many Mewmans cannot differentiate between Monsters and Demons, they are two completely separate species. And as such, the citizens of the Underworld have never expressed any concerns over the plight of Mewnian Monsters. Furthermore, while the Butterfly and Lucitor Kingdoms have been allies for some time, neither is in anyway obligated to come to the other's aid in times of crisis. In general, Demons are largely self-involved and rarely help others without wanting something in return, and the price for their assistance in a full-scale war would be too high even for Queen Moon to pay. Most of this also applies to the citizens of the Waterfolk Kingdom."

"I see… And what of the other Kingdoms?"

"The citizens of the Pigeon Kingdom are extremely mistrustful of Mewmans. They few our entire species as racist and emotionally unstable. They formed an alliance with the Butterfly Family many years ago out of necessity, but since the Child Suicide Bombing Incidents tensions have risen between the two races. The Pigeons have continuously threatened to pull out of the agreement since the initial bombings and it is likely they will do so within the next few weeks. However, given that our army consists largely of Mewmans, it is highly unlikely that they will be willing to assist us in our quest for a utopian society."

"And the Ponyheads?"

"They are a nonissue, Master. For although they profess to be friends of the Butterfly Family, they are predisposed to sloth, apathy, narcissism, and a sense of self-interest that overshadows even that of Demons. Furthermore, King Ponyhead and his progeny are prone to bouts of hypocrisy, so regardless of what they say in public, they will never fight a war they did not start themselves. Even to help a supposed friend."

"Interesting… So in other words, all that stands between me and my dream of a perfect world is a Child-Queen and her army of toy soldiers. How lovely~"

"Yes, but a word of caution, my Master." The former guardian said soullessly. "The Magic High Commission is sure to intervene if they feel Queen Moon's deposal would upset the balance of power in the universe. And because of their relation to the King, the warriors of the Johansen Kingdom will more than likely join the battle. They are not to be underestimated."

"Your concern is appreciated, Mina. But unnecessary. I've already taken the Johansen Warriors into account and I'm certain they will be just as unprepared for our Stands as the Queen's Knights. And as for the High Commission, I've already taken steps to ensure they won't be an issue. Which reminds me, what time is it?"

"It is exactly 7:29 pm Mewnian Standard Time, my Master."

"Ah~ Perfect timing." The Hobyah Man said most giddily, before switching to a more serious tone. "Mina, I want you to go outside and guard my tent. Make sure _no one_ disturbs me until I give the all clear. Understood?"

"Yes, Master. Your will is my command."

And with that, the obedient mind slave stood up and walked out of the tent; leaving her master to chuckle in amusement.

" _Heh-Heh-Heh_. Such a helpful little robot." He said as he carefully stood up from his makeshift throne. "Now on to business."

With all the grace and poise of a reanimated corpse, the ancient Stand User slowly shambled over to the far side of the room; where he stopped to stand before a large, ornate mirror.

"Mirror, Mirror, On the Wall. Who's the fairest of them all?" he said jokingly as he gazed into his own hideous reflection. "Not me, that's for sure. _Heh-Heh-Heh-Heh-Heh_."

A few seconds later, presumably at the precise stroke of 7:30, a message flashed across the screen; a message that brought a smile to his haggard face.

 **LadyHotBod has invited you to join her Chat**

 **Accept or Decline**

For the briefest of moments, Brando hesitated to hit **Accept**. This was not going to be easy. Hekapoo was a sleazy little tramp who was ruled by her lust, but she was no fool. She'd deliberately arranged for this meeting to be held via Magic Mirror to keep him from influencing her thoughts, or those of her associates. And because The Witchdoctor couldn't extend its reach across the Dimensional Divide, the fire witch and her fellow councilmen would see him as he truly was; not as the whimsical King of the Hobyahs, but as the hideous, desiccated, rotten toothed Hobyah Man. Not exactly an endearing visage.

However, given that Hekapoo had already seen his true form and likely told her associates about it, a disguise would be all but useless anyway. And besides, there were much subtler ways to manipulate people. He just needed to be clever about.

No, he was not going to back down. Not after he'd come so far.

 **Accept**

A second later, the screen was split into three sections; each displaying the image of a different fantastic creature. In the upper left stood the fire witch, Hekapoo. While on the right was a floating skull framed in stars. And on the very bottom, in a space slightly larger than the other two, stood the remaining two members of the council; a muscular reptilian with a diamond head, and an aged goat-man in brown robes.

At long last, he was standing before the entire Magic High Commission.

Time to be obsequious.

"Gentleman! Milady. What a tremendous honor it is to finally meet you all face to face." He said, laying it on thicker than an asphalt paver. "I can't tell you how humbled I am to know that four such magnificent beings as yourselves took time out of your busy schedules just to indulge a lowly mortal such as I. I am truly unworthy."

"BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!" bleated to goat-man in a tone that was hard to interpret.

" _Heh-Heh-Heh-Heh-Heh-Heh_. Good one, Lekmet." The diamond-head said amusedly. "You really do need boots to listen to this guy."

Naturally, Brando did not find this cheek at all amusing, but he kept his emotions in check.

Anything for the sake of Utopia.

"Yes, yes, well… now that we've gotten the formalities out of the way, let's get down to business." The Hobyah Man said professionally. "I assume Hekapoo has already explained my proposal?"

"At great length." The floating skull answered bluntly. "But I'm afraid we cannot comply. What you ask for is too much."

"Too much? Lord Omnitraxus, you wound me. You make it sound as if I'm asking for the universe. All I want is a tiny little patch of land to call my own. And to correct a grave injustice, of which you are all at least partially responsible. Is that so wrong?"

"So what? We should just let you and your Monsters kill Queen Moon and take Mewni for yourselves?" Hekapoo asked accusingly.

"Well… not all of Mewni. Just all the parts the Mewmans took from the Monsters." He replied offhandedly. "And besides, what's the Queen done for anyone lately? Besides blow up a bunch of children."

"That was you!" said Rhombulus, the diamond-head, accusingly. "And don't even try denying it. Hekapoo already told us about your freaky mind powers."

"My, my, how astute of you, Sir Rhombulus." Brando replied almost sarcastically. "But in all seriousness, who amongst us hasn't done something to warrant a death sentence? Omnitraxus, I believe you once erased an entire solar system out of existence, if I'm not mistaken."

"H-H-How do you know about…"

"How I know is not important. What matters is that I do." The Hobyah Man interrupted. "And what of it? That entire region of space had become temporally unstable. The people living there had become frozen in time. If you hadn't erased them it could've spread to the entire universe. You only did what you thought was right and you should be commended for making such a difficult decision. Kudos to you, oh great God of Space Time. Kudos to…"

"Oh, enough of this!" Hekapoo cut in harshly. "You can't just sweettalk your way out of this! You _killed_ nine _children_!"

"Technically, I only brainwashed them into killing themselves." Brando clarified. "And so what if I did. They were squires. Zealots. They'd been brainwashed their whole lives into hating Monsters. And if they'd grown up, they'd 've only spread more violence and ignorance. At least now their lives had meaning. Thanks to their deaths, I was able to rally the Monsters together and get them to ally themselves with the Mewman farmers. Now Mewmans and Monsters are working together for a common cause. They're brothers and sisters in arms. _I_ did that. Don't you see? _I_ have paved the way for everlasting peace. And that's a hell of a lot more than the Queen's ever done. Let me tell you."

"Dude, you're not really helping your case." Rhombulus said curtly. "I mean, yeah, we've done some shady things in the past, but always for the good of the universe. You're only looking out for yourself."

"Am I?" the Hobyah Man asked rhetorically. "True, I desire to conquer this land and make myself the king. But in the process of doing so, I have singlehandedly prevented a potential catastrophe that you've all been dreading for quite some time."

"What the hell are you talking about?" Hekapoo asked annoyedly.

"My friends, it's no secret that you've always been terrified by the prospect of Monsters gaining the power of Magic. As well you should. Because as we all know, Magic is a precious resource. And if too many people are using it, and using it irresponsibly, it could damage the fabric of reality." He explained, his every word practically dripping with slime. "However, thanks to my influence, not only have the Monsters lost interest in attaining Magic, but they have lost the potential for it all together. With their Stands awakened, whatever connections they once had to the Realm of Magic have been severed. And over the next few generations this will become permanent. The Monsters will never be able to use Magic, _ever_. My friends, I have singlehandedly prevented a universe ending disaster before it even began."

"That's… true." Omnitraxus admitted begrudgingly. "But still, we can't just let you take Mewni. We have an obligation to the Butterfly Family."

"True… But don't you also have a larger obligation to the universe as a whole?" the Hobyah Man reasoned. "And let's be honest, I'm only asking for one little Kingdom. What's one little patch of dirt in the grand scheme of things?"

"Queen Moon is a member of the Commission. We can't just hang her out to dry." The fire witch argued.

"This is also true. But isn't her seat on the council just a formality? Useful only as a tiebreaker and to create the illusion of fairness and equality."

"BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!" Lekmet bleated indignantly.

"Lekmet's right, you hold your tongue!" Rhombulus translated. "A Queen of Mewni has always sat on this council. Always has, always will. It's our way."

"Yes, yes, I'm aware of your traditions. But technically the rules only specify that that seat must be reserved for the most powerful mortal Magic User in the universe. And really, anyone who masters the Royal Wand will that fit that criteria quite nicely. So finding a suitable replacement will be child's play. I mean… it's not like you've never done that sort of thing before."

The looks of horror on the commissioners faces were absolutely priceless.

"You… You wrinkly old bastard!" Hekapoo exploded. "You read my mind, didn't you!"

"Yes, during our first encounter. Call it a bad habit. But don't worry, I have no intention of revealing that little incident to anybody. I merely used it as an example to prove my point. That no one is irreplaceable." Brando said slyly. "And besides, you're going to need to find a replacement soon anyway. What with the Princess' condition and all?"

"What?" the four all asked confusedly.

"My friends, surely Lady Hekapoo has informed you that Princess Star has developed a Stand of her own. And as we all know, Magic and Stands are polar opposites. They cannot both exist within the same body. As Star's Stand grows stronger, her connection to the Realm of Magic grows weaker. Before long she'll be unable to use any magic at all, and the Wand will be as useful to her as a child's toy. So you can either find a replacement now when you have a good excuse, or wait 'til later when it will be harder to explain to the public."

This time no one responded right away. The four commissioners seemed lost in their own thoughts. It wasn't until a few minutes later when Omnitraxus finally broke the silence.

"You make a lot of good points, human." He admitted begrudgingly. "But I'm afraid you've overlooked one major detail. Namely Glossaryk."

"Glossaryk?

"Yes, that's right. Glossaryk. The wisest and most powerful being in all the known universe. He created this council, and in his infinity wisdom he has never once wavered in his duty to the Butterfly Family. So I see no reason why we shouldn't do the same."

"If Glossaryk is so loyal then why did he leave?" Brando asked almost tauntingly.

" _What_?" this time only three of them said in unison.

"Oh, I'm sorry, didn't you all know? Glossaryk and the Spell Book were stolen some time ago. And when Star went to rescue him he refused to come back. Clearly he has no more faith in the Butterfly Family than I do."

"No… that… That can't be true."

" _BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!_ "

"Why you lying little weasel! I'm gonna…"

"No… he's right." Rhombulus cut in, sounding both despondent and a little ashamed. "I… I spoke with Princess Star a couple nights ago. She told me everything. Everything he just said is the truth."

Once again, the commissioners all fell silent.

"I… I can't believe this." Hekapoo said, sounding completely thunderstruck. "How could she keep this from us? Why didn't the Queen tell us about this?"

"I assume for the same reason you still haven't told her about me. She was worried how you might react." The Hobyah Man said with a smirk befitting a silent movie villain. "She didn't tell you about Glossaryk, and you didn't tell her who was really behind those suicide bombings. Sounds to me like a fundamental lack of trust. And if you can't trust each other, how can you expect to work together for the good of all Magic?"

For the third time none of the commissioners knew what to say. But they all suddenly got a very serious look on their faces.

"If we agree to this, hypothetically speaking, what exactly would we have to do?" Omnitraxus asked after an eternity of silence.

"Absolutely nothing." Brando answered cheerily. "Just go about your own business and let fate decide who should rule this land. If the Queen wins, everything goes back to normal. If I win, you can just take the Wand and find a new mortal to wield it. Either way, you all have nothing to lose."

"I see…" the floating skull said thoughtfully. "Of course, you realize we can't give you our answer right away. This is a very delicate matter and we must all think it through carefully."

"But of course, take all the time you need."

"Yeah… but while we think about it, maybe there's something you can do for us that will… influence our decision." Hekapoo said shrewdly. "You see, we've got this little… issue. For the last few months, someone or something has been draining all the Magic out of the universe. It's not serious yet, but it's causing all sorts of problems, and none of us can figure out what's causing it. But maybe, just maybe, you can."

"What exactly are you getting at, Hekapoo?"

"Oh, I'm not getting at anything." The fire witch replied coyly. "I'm just saying that, hypothetically, if you were to use your mental powers to find whoever was responsible for this Fritz and put a stop to it, we might be a little more open to your request."

"Oh really?" the Hobyah Man said as his face split into a rather grotesque smile. "Please, tell me more."

End Notes:

All that's left now is the epilogue and then I'm going on an extra long hiatus to work on my Adventure Time fic which I've been neglecting. FYI, I'm going on vacation next week and I'm not bringing my laptop for reasons. I'll try to have the epilogue out before I leave but I make no promises. So if the final chapter is pushed back a week that's why. Anyway, thanks for reading and I'll see you in the epilogue.

Peace.


	17. Epilogue

Well, I did it. I got this up before I went on vacation. YAH ME! Anyway, just an FYI, I'll be going on hiatus again to work on my Adventure Time anthology. To make up for lost time, I won't be working on this series again until I've added at least 5 new chapters to Vampire Kingdom. So please be patient. Also, I'm sorry in advance if the epilogue is a little dull, but I honestly couldn't come up with a better ending. Anyway, Star vs the Forces of Evil is owned by Disney and Stands are the creation of the brilliant and talented Hirohiko Araki. Yadda. Yadda. Enjoy.

1-Up Girl: Epilogue.

( _Alcari Nebula, Polaris Galaxy: July 8, 2046_ )

"And… that's pretty much it." The kunoichi said cheerily as she brought her story to a close. "From then on Oskar and I were boyfriend and girlfriend~ We went to movies together~ Went to all the school dances~ Oh~ It was just like a fairytale~"

" _AHEM!_ " went Artemis, attempting to play it off as a simple clearing of the throat.

"Oh, uh… sorry about that." The older woman said, sounding slightly embarrassed. "Sometimes I just get a little carried away. Especially when I'm talking about my man~ What were we talking about again?"

"I believe you were about to tell us what happened next." Marisol said politely.

"Oh right, of course. Well, after I regained consciousness and answered a few questions for the news crew that had shown up, Jackie and I went back down to the park to let everyone know we were alright. Jefferson was so proud of me. And so were my parents. Heck, everyone was. I was the talk of the school for weeks. And from that day on no one ever called me StarFan again. Well, expect for Janna when she was mad. Which was a lot, now that I think about it."

"Well regardless it sounds like a proper happy ending." The young princess said cheerily.

"Kinda cheesy if you ask me. But I guess it beats Aunt Jackie's story." Artemis chimed in dismissively before adding. "Although, that part where you turned into a frog was pretty cool. What was that all about?"

"Yes, I'm actually rather curious about that myself."

"What? You mean Stand Fusion?" the kunoichi asked confusedly. "Didn't your mom ever tell you about that? I mean, she can do it a lot better than I can."

"Are you kidding? Mom never tells us anything. It's nothing but secrets and lies with her." The rebel princess said annoyedly before devolving into a mild rant. "Before this summer the only thing we knew about her was that she had a Stand. And even that we didn't get straight from her; our dad had to explain it to us when we were four, during one of the few times they let us leave the palace. Which by the way is _not_ the original, as we'd been led to believe, but of course I had to find _that_ out from a gossipy chambermaid. I tell you, it just makes me so mad I could- ** _OCK_**!"

As usual, Marisol had to stifle her sister with a quick jab to the stomach.

" _Seriously_! How did you get so _strong_!"

"So, Aunt Annie, you're saying our mother can perform this… Stand Fusion technique as well?" asked the posh princess, ignoring her sister's question all together.

"Uh… yes." She replied, seeming mildly off put by the posh princess' brutish display. "I can't believe Star never told you about this. I mean, it's kind of a big deal."

"How so?"

"Well for one thing, Jefferson had never seen or heard of anything like it; and he was our resident expert on this stuff. Jackie even went to ask her talking tree friend, but he didn't know anything either. As far I know, I was the first person to ever pull it off." The kunoichi explained, practically beaming with pride. "Of course, I'd done it completely by accident, and it would take me another three years before I figured out how to do it again, but still, I proved it was possible. And that's probably why your mom was able to pick it up so quickly."

"So… how does this… Stand Fusion thing work exactly?" Artemis asked, finally recovering from her sister's blow. "You were a little… vague on the details earlier."

"Oh, it's not all that complicated really. It's sort of like when a person manifests their Stand through an inanimate object. Only in this case the object is a human body." Annie explained in a sort of motherly / teacherly tone. "But still, even if the idea behind it is simple, I really wouldn't recommend it. Stand Fusion is unbelievably dangerous. Besides me and your mom, only one other person has ever tried it and survived."

"Really? Who?" asked the rebel princess with a sudden burst of enthusiasm.

"Uh… that's a story for another day. Sorry girls." The kunoichi said, soundly a teensy bit uneasy before adopting a much more stable tone. "Is there anything else you'd like to know?"

Sensing that this was going to be one of those things that wouldn't be explained until later, Marisol decided not to press the issue and steered the conversation elsewhere.

"Well, Aunt Annie, if it's not too much trouble, I'd be very interested to learn what became of Ringo's other captives. Did they manage to find happiness after that horrid ordeal?" the young princess asked politely.

"Oh, I don't think you'll hear any complaints from those nutbars." Annie said with a hint of cheerful nostalgia in her voice. "Britney and I stayed friends for most of high school. Up until her folks moved to the east coast. We kinda lost touch after that, but every now and then I check out her show on ESPN. As for Ferguson, he ended up inventing some car that runs on static electricity. He's like the richest man on Earth now. Crazy, huh?"

"Yeah, down right certifiable." Artemis said jokingly before adopting a much slyer demeanor. "So… what ever happened to Chantelle?"

Suddenly, the elder Stand User got a very uncomfortable look on her face.

"Uh… that's another story for another day." She replied in a clear attempt to brush off the subject. "But hey, let's not spend the whole day talking about old times. You kids are only gonna be here a few weeks, so let's have some fun. I say we all go down to the Havoc Room for a rollicking game of Extreme Simon Says. What do you say, ladies?"

But alas, the other Valkyries did not respond.

"Uh… ladies?"

Deeply confused by the silence, Annie quickly spun around to find that her loyal friends and teammates were nowhere to be found.

"What in the _hell_? Where'd they all go?"

"Oh, they all left like an hour ago to get pizza." Artemis answered bluntly.

" ** _What_**? But… But I love pizza! Why didn't they invite me?"

"I believe Miss Lucile was still angry at you for telling us about that embarrassing toilet story, so she convinced the others to 'ditch' you while you were busy 'blah-blah-blah-ing'." Marisol explained with her usual air of politeness. "As I recall, they all snuck out while you were recounting how Aunt Janna tore up your drawing."

"Oh, well isn't that just _peachy_." The kunoichi said annoyedly. "What are we supposed to do now?"

"Can't we still do that Simon Says thing you talked about?" Artemis asked confusedly.

"No we can't. Roxy's the only one who knows how to work the controls."

"Well… how about another story?" asked Marisol. "I'd be very interested to know how you became a Valkyrie in the first place."

This seemed to do the trick, as the elder Stand User's mood immediately perked up.

"Well… since you asked~" she said as her tone turned both perky and nostalgic. "It all started during my junior year of college. It was a Tuesday, I think… no wait, it was Wednesday. I know that seems like a minor detail, but trust me, it's important for later, so don't forget it. Anyway, I was walking to my creative writing class when I noticed a rubber chicken just laying on the sidewalk. Had I known all the trouble that little pullet would cause me I would've just left it right where it was. But of course, I didn't know, so I picked it up and stashed it in my backpack for safekeeping. And thus I unknowingly began the single most amazing adventure of my entire life."

End Notes:

Coming… in a really long time…

Part 5: A Clock in my Head.

Bangles vs YYZ.

Get ready to learn the exciting backstory of the incomparable Jefferson Speedwagon.


End file.
